I'm BAAACK!!!!!!

Well kids, I'm BACK!!! Florida was wonderful. I only stayed a week this time as I had to dogsit one of my best friends creatures (Golden Retrievers) and I wanted to be back by Halloween. Lots of fun. The weather was about half good. It rained cats and dogs for a couple of days I was there. Then there was a couple of sunny days and then it turned cold. My ass can go on a beach just about anytime - EXCEPT when it is 50 degrees out. Brrr... I went to a couple of boy bars and realized how much I missed Memphis in that aspect...


I had some really good visits with some friends. The most special time was when my friend Jack saw me and said "welcome home". That's when I realized that Sarasota is just as much home for me as Memphis is. I may not have as many friends there but what I lack in quantity, I make up for in quality.



Tonite I am going to my neighbors house for trick or treating and wine drinking. I have never stayed in my hood for Halloween. As it turns out, Halloween is the anniversary of my heart attack. That was 14 years ago today. It has only been in the past couple of years that I have gotten back in the spirit of Halloween and in a lot of ways it is exciting. I am going as the biker from the Village People. We'll see if I am the laughing stock.

Check out the pics that I took... all taken by me except for the hot boys, which I wish I could take... :-)

Life is Sweet!

It's that time again! Time to go sit my fat, happy ass on a beach in Florida for a week. I use that term "fat" loosely and advisedly, as I am returning to the Sunshine State about 20 pounds lighter than when I was last there. Can't WAIT to see all my peeps down there. I will post some pics when I return for the one or two readers that still drop by. I am going to work on being a better poster. I'll try hard, but I can't be CB... Now if I can just find me a big hunk of man-meat like these boys, then life will truly be excellent...

Later Peeps --

Much Ado About Nothing...

Due to the lack of what we in Memphis so quaintly call "baby-daddy-mamma-drama" in my life, I submit a meme for your consideration. (I am SUCH the sucker for these things)

---


What's going on between you and the last person you kissed?
Not sure because I can’t remember who I kissed last…that sounds TOTALLY slutty, I know.

What was your worst mistake in your life?
Not going to law school OR taking this job – take your pick…

Would you get back with your last ex if they asked you?
Don’t really have an ex…

Name 3 thoughts you have at this exact moment?
(a) I’m HUNGRY
(b) Looking forward to exercise class tonite
(c) It SUCKS to be poor

What's something you really want right now, be honest?
If I will ever have someone fall in love with me at the same time I fall for them and if I will ever be more than a pauper.

Three feelings at the moment?
(a) hunger
(b) discontentment
(c) boredom

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
... as in want to puke b/c nervous? – oddly, I can’t recall one at the moment –I have tried
... as in love / crush? – to protect the guilty, we wont go there.

Does anything hurt on your body?
My knees (get your mind out of the gutter, bitches)

What are you listening to right now?
not much - -it’s actually kind of quiet here at work…oh, wait – my STUPID co-worker just came in. Now I will be listening to her talk ENDLESSLY without actually saying anything.

Have you ever punched a hole in the wall?
Not a hole, but close enough

Where were you at 2:00 this morning?
Safe in my bed asleep…alone

Who did you copy this from?
Jason L.

When was the last time you saw them?
Early summer I believe.




How well do you know them?
More socially than anything else

Where’s the weirdest place you've changed clothes?
Back of a van.

Do you wear glasses? No

Who do you love?
Right now, just me; friends, family.

What's the cd in your player?
some old jazz

Anything annoying you right now?
I think a better question would be – what is not annoying me right now?

Anybody you're looking forward to seeing soon?
My aunt and friends when I go to Florida in a couple of weeks

Is there a friend particularly that you miss?
A dear friend that in town this weekend and went back to Philly.

What is your underwear color?
Light blue boxers.

Anywhere you'd rather be right now?
Please…just point to anywhere in the US…

Are you going anywhere for the next summer?
Probably my usual Florida trips.

Do you have plans today?
Exercise class tonite followed by a drink at Mollie Fontaine’s

Last kiss mean anything?
Just good ol fun

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Sadly, probably Stein-Mart (it’s a dress shirt for work – I have better taste than this … really)

What are your chances of getting with your crush?
Don’t really have a crush right now…

When was the last time you were told you were amazing?
Hmmm… let me get back to you on this one…

Does anyone love you?
Actually, I think so…

Do you have many friends?
Yes, and I'm grateful for them all.

What girl/boy can you tell everything to?
Marshall, Lisa and Cindie

Do you dance in the car?
Yeah, I do… J



******** Part Deux*****************
Do you have any big plans for November?
Thanksgiving at Lisa’s house
Being off for the holidays
Enjoying the fall


What upcoming event are you most looking forward to?
My 40th birthday – I plan to go to Philly and New York

What was the last song you heard?
”Walking on Broken Glass”

What time did you wake up today?
6am

What does your last incoming text say?
I do not text.

Is there a vase in the room you're in?
Somewhere, but it does NOTHING for this dump I in which I find myself…


Have you recently been insulted?
Not that I can recall…

Are there people you feel more connected to than others?
Yes, absolutely.

Are you more like your mother or your father?
Both actually – I have the good qualities of both, but my dad likes to say that I have my Mom’s WORST characteristics, which reallllly pisses me off.

Describe the pants you are wearing:
Flat-front khakis

Are any of your myspace pictures alcohol related?
Are you kidding?



What were you most recently happy about?
I had a wonderful walk at lunch…

Are you a fan of cake?
All kinds – but in particular strawberry and carrot cake

Are you shy?
I actually am in some situations.


Do you like music?
Absolutely! It is a reflection of the soul…

When was the last time you stepped in a church?
Sunday

Have you ever seen the movie Little Miss Sunshine?
LOVED it!!

Ever been snow-mobiling?
Nope

Ever played lazer tag?
Yep!

Ever been in a car wreck?
Yep! AND the fucktard left the scene!

Favorite fruit?
Oranges

Your favorite thing to drink on a hot summer day?
Beer

What was the weather like today?
Sunny and cool

Last thing you drank?
Water

Who was your FIRST prom date?
Chris Rodgers

Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Sure do.



What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
Beer

Where was your FIRST job?
Chic-fil-A. Still love there food…

What was your FIRST car?
1979 Datsun hatchback, beige.

Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
Again – do not text

Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
Whatever idiot that was on the morning news.

Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. Holt

Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
Don’t remember… I was so young…

Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them?
Mike, from childhood… and no.

What was your FIRST sport played?
It should read “first and only” – soccer. I don’t like to get sweaty. Actually, I do, but…

Where was your FIRST sleep over?
My house, I think

Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
My mom

Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
My aunt Janet’s when I was 4yrs old

What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Peed. Well, you asked…


**********Part Trois*******

Whose birthday is coming up?
Amy’s

Last time someone has given you butterflies?
About two weeks ago.

Do you have nice eyes?
I sure do.

What is something you need to go shopping for?
New fall clothes

Were you happy when you woke up?
I was grumpy.

What song are you listening to?
Some classical piece on Public Radio

When was the last time you smiled?
Little bit ago

What woke you up this morning?
My stupid alarm clock.

Is your Myspace profile private?
it is.

What color is your toothbrush?
Green and white

Whats the last thing you purchased?
A really cool shirt on eBay.




Favorite clothing store?
Wow, it depends.The Buckle, Lansky, Lux, Tommy Bahama, Baer's Den

What is the reason behind your MySpace song?
I have old TV themes on my MySpace. Harkens back to a better time…

Are you talking to anyone while doing this?
Nope.

Have you ever played an instrument?
I butchered the trumpet when I was younger.

What were you doing last night at 11?
Had dinner with a dear friend and was getting ready for bed.

Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like?
Not at all

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with J?
Hell yeah.

What’s the strangest thing you have heard today?
Something my coworker was saying about a donkey being shot killed in Jackson, Tennessee because it rammed a police car and the tranquilizers didn’t work. I mean. WTF???

Name some people that made you laugh yesterday:
Teresa and Marshall

How late did you stay up last night and why?
until about 11pm – went to bed as soon as I came home

What was the last thing you ate?
Half of a turkey sandwich

Have you ever made out in a public bathroom stall?
yep

Do you get distracted easily?
Sometimes

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Brushed my teeth

Are you jealous of someone?
Only those with more money than me.

Have you ever gone out with someone cause you felt sorry for them?
I have never given a pity date before, and I'm sure I've probably gotten one or two before as well.

Would you rather go camping or to a five star hotel?
A five star…Why, you buying???

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?
My STUPID co-worker who has Head-Up-Ass Syndrome.

What is your current mood?
bleck



Ever had a surprise birthday party?
Actually, no

Do you prefer to take showers in the morning or night?
Anytime, or both

Last time you told someone you loved them?
Couple of days ago when my friend went home.

I'm a Pissy Bitch...

I have officially HAD it with people. I have discovered that I just plain don't like them. Just now, I was in the breakroom talking with a coworker. We were the only ones in there, so I was speaking in a normal tone of voice. Some goofturd intern walks in and goes to the snack machine to get something that will make him even fatter. So, not wanting the whole world to know of what I was speaking, I lower my voice. My friend does the same. After we conclude the conversation, we are giggling and walking off. Goofturd proceeds to inform us that "its not polite to whisper, people". WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? Who in the FUCK does he think he is?!?!?!? I was not speaking to him because I do not nor do I ever want to know this little fucktard with Head Up Ass Syndrome. God Almighty.



Not to mention that I cannot STAND bad drivers. I seem to have encountered EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IN MEMPHIS today. And I have not even gone home yet where I am sure I will encounter more of these boils on the butt of humanity. I have been pissy all day over stupid people, but the intern just took the cake. I just need to breathe deeply ... and get laid...preferably by one of these. Yeah, that would make me feel better...

I'm A Happy Bitch...

Well, not too terribly much to report new in my life...except that I have lost another 2 pounds! That brings my grand total to 18 so far. I am hoping to loose at least another 10 if I can. I have been lifting weights like a fiend, so my actual weight may not go down that far.



On other fronts...so looking forward to this weekend. My bestest friend is coming in town from Philly and I can't wait to see him tonight. I have this feeling there are going to be a couple of late nights clubbing and drinking for us drunks.



Also, we in the great city of Memphis (not) will have a big art and craft fair that hopefully I can go to on Sunday (if I am not too tired from partying). That's about it folks. Told you...nothing too exciting.

PISSED as HELL!

It's official. I'm taking on Big Oil. Just you sit down a minute and let me tell you what happened to me. Two Monday nights ago, I was visiting my parents for dinner in Bartlett, Tennessee (a small city almost completely surrounded my the wretched city of Memphis). Anyzort, I needed to get gas for the car and my mom told me to go to Citgo (since they have the cheapest gas around) and put money on a gift card. If you do this and use the gift card at the pump, you get an additional .03 or more off the price of the gas. So she lent me her card and I hauled ass up there and put some money on her card and got gas. Then (idiot me) went back in the store and said I would like one of those cards. Dude said he couldn't just give me one - that I would have to put some money on it. I gave him a 20 and he gave me the card. I figured that since I just filled up, that I could wait till the next Monday (the 22nd) and use the card.



Well, Monday rolls around, I go to Citgo and try (note I said try) to use said card. The attendant tells me the card is empty, which is impossible since I HAVEN'T USED IT. So Dickweed tells me, very curtly, to call the manager. Poor little Dickweed... he has no idea who he is fucking with and how far I can take things. So I think there is maybe ONE chance that there was a mistake. Perhaps I have given the wrong card to my mom. I go back to their house and she pulls out her card, which she has not used. I call the 800 number on the back and it says both cards have a 0 balance. I'm good and pissed now as I have lost $20.00. I figure either they are going to refund my $20.00 or I am going to take at least $20.00 of their time and effort. So, the next day, I call the 800 number and they ... wait for it... tell me that both cards have been used previously. Again I try to explain to Dickweed's brother Dickwad that that was not possible. Dickwad said that I was given a used card!!!! I wanted to know how in FUCKING HELL it was used when I saw Dickweed pick it up off the stack and break the attachment off and run it. It was NOT a reloaded card. He maintained that it was. Dickwad said they will do some sort of "investigation" and they will get back with me in 7-10 bidness days. I am SOOOO far from being satisfied.



Then I ask for the number of the Regional Manager for Citgo, who was actually very nice. He contacted the local manager who promised to go thru all the register tapes. This was yesterday. As I am typing this - at this moment - I just got a call from the local manager. She says that she can only find one card on the tapes and nothing on the other one. I'm thinking the card didn't take when Dickweed swiped it. She claims up and down that that can't POSSIBLY be the case. AND GET THIS! She says that perhaps my mom got the card with the $20.00 on it and THREW IT AWAY BY MISTAKE. She does not know my mother. Mistakes are something my mother never makes. So as of now, I have been screwed out of my money by the big oil company. For the record, I will NEVER step foot in another Citgo in my natural lifetime. And beware... if some Dickweed or Dickwad says to put money down on a "gift" card...DON'T. The only "gift" you will get is screwed (without the benefit of lubricant). Now, I just need to relax and think about what it would be like to run my tongue all over the chests of these hot boys...

I'm On My Way to Being a Skinny Bitch!!!

I am so fucking proud of myself!!!!!!! Last night I went to exercise class and weighed myself for the first time in two weeks. Since starting the SugarBusters diet on August 11th, I have lost a total of 16 pounds!!! YAY ME!! AND it has been relatively painless. When I went to the doctor a couple of months ago, I weighed 197. That was the most I have ever weighed in my life. Now I am down to 181! I am a total fan of SugarBusters. Most of it is common sense. Essentially you can't eat anything with sugar in it as sugar is the devil. I thought that this task would be nearly impossible and if, in fact, possible then damn restrictive. Neither has proven to be true. The truth is that the things that you can't eat are very few. They essentially want you to eat foods in their pure form and not processed -- foods that are low to middle on the glycemic index. The glycemic index measures how fast foods turn into sugar once you ingest them. How fast they turn into sugar depends on the insulin release which is directly correlated to weight gain. And I would not call this a low-carb diet as I am eating bread at every meal. It was hard to find a whole grain bread that didn't have sugar as one of the top three ingredients, but I did (Nature's Own 7 Grain) -- and it was actually quite good. Of course, I did have to give up beer. Sadly, beer is what got me in the shape (so to speak) that I am in now. BUT I have been drinking wine - red and white. And since I love wine, this is not a problem. Now if the diet had said no drinking at all, I think I would have to kill myself. Like most people I know, alcohol is the glue that holds my universe together... OH -- AND I get to eat chocolate - dark chocolate which I LOVE. The book has a list of super foods that they say we are supposed to eat whenever we can. It includes things that are very beneficial in terms of fatty acids and antioxidants - mostly common sense stuff - and dark chocolate with more than 60% cocoa is one of them. So that satisfies my sweet tooth. There is NOTHING IN THE WORLD, (except sex) more satisfying than having red wine and dark chocolate together. Oh, the flavor. But I digresseth...



They are also real big on portion control. If you think about it, we Americans eat so freaking MUCH. Since I have started watching the amount of food I eat, I find that it takes less to make me feel full. And I eat several little meals all day long to keep the metabolism going (mine, in particular, is painfully slow and needs its worthless ass whipped into shape -- that sounds dirty - heehee). Add to that I have been working out at a Group Fitness program called Group Power. It is a one hour long barbell class that works each of the major muscle groups. I am actually getting thinner and gaining muscle, something I have never done in my entire life. And I cannot tell you how much better I feel, both physically and emotionally. People can tell you all day long you look like you have lost weight, but nothing compares to the feeling of going up a belt notch or buying a shirt a size down from what you normally wear. Someone should put that feeling in pill form and we would solve America's crack problem. Anyhoo -- that's the latest with me. I'll keep you posted. One of these days, I am going to look like these bois...