Thursday, January 31, 2008

Even More Useless Information...

I am proud to offer even MORE useless information about myself. You can tell I am bored and there is nothing to blog about today… Mindless questions and eye-candy…life just can’t get any better than this. Actually, it can…

Your ex is on the side of the road on fire. What do you do?
I would like to think I would help him out…But since I have no ex, this is purely rhetorical…If it was a bad breakup, I may just enjoy the show…

Your best friend tells you she is pregnant. What is your reaction?
My God, the Immaculate Conception has struck again?!?!?! One of my best friends is gay and I tell him he LOOKS pregnant (that bump, you know…)

When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
geez…that is a constant feeling these days…

Congratulations! You just had a son. What's his name?
Hard to say – haven’t thought much about it and can’t come up with one on the spur of the moment.

Congratulations! You just had a daughter. What's her name?
see above…

What are you craving right now?
something hot because I’m freezing…oh – you were asking about FOOD…

What was the last thing you cried about?
Way too personal to answer here…

When you buy something and your change is a penny. Do you keep it or tell the cashier to keep it?
tell the cashier to keep it…

What color is your tissue box?
I think it is yellow...

Do you have a ceiling fan in your room, and if so, is there dust on that fan?
there is one in my room, and you got me…there is dust on it…

What is the last voicemail you received about?
one of my friends going on about something or other

Scariest thing you've experienced in the last year?
coming out

What do you order when you go to Taco Bell?
chicken quesadillas and a meximelt – mmmmmmmmmm!!

Have you ever had a garage sale?
GOD yes, I am the coordinator for the neighborhood yard sale in June – last year we had over 60 homes participate (I hate doing that damn yard sale)

When was the last alcoholic beverage you had?
numerous glasses of wine -- last night

Are you happy right now?
Moderately so

Who came over last?
to my house…my dad, I think…

Do you drink beer?
Please…you can look at me at tell I do…

Dark or light jeans?

What was the last movie you watched at home?
Further Tales of the City

What is in your pocket?
keys, wallet, and cellphone

Who introduced you to your boyfriend?
what boyfriend?

Where do you hurt?
my heart

What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart?
I. Do. Not. Do. Wal-Mart… thank you very much.

When is your birthday?
Feb 13

What are you going to do after this?
go to lunch

What is your favorite dessert?
key lime pie, crème brulee, banana pudding, anything caramel

Do you have the same name as one of your relatives?

Is someone in love with you?
To my knowledge, sadly, no.

Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member?
I hope not.

Does someone like you right now?
I hope

Do you know anyone in jail/prison?
OH Pleeeenttttyyyy… (my job deals with crime)

Do you like the color green?
Green is my very favorite color…

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
I hope...and I hope its good...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Crazy Week...

WOW - things have been kind of hectic and/or crazy on my end lately so that is why I haven't posted. First of all, I have been sick. Normally, I am not one to fall ill often, but when I out. I am not an easy patient. Well, you know what I mean... I have had the stomach virus from HELL. Enough said. Though, I do think it is shitty that the weight one looses when one is sick COMES RIGHT BACK. That is just not right. That should be a perk for getting thru the illness, but, no...

Also, one of my best friends is leaving town in a week, and I am not having an easy time of it at all. It is always difficult for me to say goodbye to anyone I am close to, and for the most part, I have been spared this hurt. This time, it is pretty brutal. It has been a pretty emotional week for me. I am one that can deal with my emotions, but my friend does not deal with them well, . Sometimes I think he doesn't care. I know that is not the case, but that is what it often feels like. Add to that that he leaves in exactly one week, and so my emotions have pretty much been worn on my sleeve. I know this is not going to be easy and I am afraid things will get harder before they get better. I am especially thankful for a handful of friends, both here and in Florida, who have been willing to listen and lend me their shoulders. They have been true gems I am eternally grateful for their support.

And there has been some tension with some old friends that feel that I haven't been around enough or attentive enough in the past few months. I admit that this has been the case as this past 6 months my life has been completely upside down for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that I am still trying to find my way in the gay lifestyle and reconcile it to what I have known and been taught all my life. However, I feel I should be cut some slack in this in that this is one of my oldest friendships and it would certainly be expected of me if the shoe were on the other foot. So I have had to deal with that stress which I really did not need at the moment. So hopefully all that drama is over.

On top of that, work pretty much sucks right now as I am trying to get caught up after being gone for a couple of days. I am just hoping to make the winter months (which I hate). I am desperately waiting for spring to come as the warm weather is so therapeutic and I will be going on a couple of trips in the spring. I will be going to see my friend in Philly hopefully in March and in April I will go for 2 weeks to see my aunt in Sarasota. I REALLLLY need the beach right about now. Sorry this post is pretty heavy, but that is what I am dealing with right about now. On a lighter note... one of these guys would certainly make me feel better. If anyone knows where to find them, please, give a brotha a hand here...

Friday, January 18, 2008

Something to think about...

Some of you may have read this before. It comes to us from the mind of George Carlin, which can sometimes be a scary place to visit. I just came across this recently and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought I would share it...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete... Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

OK -- You people know how much I love these little questionnaires. This one comes courtesy of Java. Thanks, babe...

1. What is in the back seat of your car (truck) right now? Several ties that I took off that I have not bothered to take inside, a couple of books, and an umbrella.

2. When was the last time you threw up? Can't really remember when. It's been awhile. I don't get sick that often. However, I was sure I was going to Saturday night, despite the fact that my best friend was dubious and thought I was just wanting to meet a hot cowboy. BTW, I really did feel sick...

3. What’s your favorite curse word? FUCK is the best, but any derivative, like "fucktard" is always fun too.

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? I afraid that's not possible.

5. What were you doing at 8 a.m. this morning? Driving to work

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Just walking inside the building at work.

7. Where were you born? Memphis, Tennessee

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? Not a regular one, but I have been to a gay bar that had male strippers, but technically not a strip club.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? Sang Happy Birthday to a coworker.

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? That's a hard one. It's difficult to find a bad flavor. I like chocolate, rocky road, french vanilla, key lime, strawberry and probably anything else put in front of me.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Coffee.

12. What are you wearing right now? Khaki pants, brown shirt and tie.

13. What was the last thing you ate? A bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Yummmmm.

14. Have you bought any new clothes this week? Of course -- I'm a gay man. Internet shopping, you know...

15. Where were you last? That's an odd question: Where were I last? I guess I was at home before I left for work...

16. What's the last sporting event you watched? Who won? Not really into sports, but I caught part of the LSU game last week in a bar. LSU won big time.

17. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message while blogging? Java. The person I thieved this meme from... :-)

18. Where do you live? Memphis, Tennessee

19. What song are you listening to? A commercial on the radio.

20. Do you tan? For the most part I don't go to the tanning bed, but I actually tan wonderfully. Fat looks so much better when tanned.

21. Do you drink your soda from a straw? Sometimes.

22. What did your last text message say? I do not text. I think texting, along with reality tv, is the downfall of western civilization.

23. Who's your best friend? I am blessed with two: Lisa and Marshall.

24. What are you doing tomorrow? Same thing as today. Going to work and then to work out.

25. Where is your mom right now? Teaching school here in Memphis.

26. Look to your right, what do you see? An empty cubicle, which really doesn't bother me since I am feeling pretty anti-social right now.

27. What do you think of when you think of where you live? Disappointment if anything. Memphis has such potential but it is run by a corrupt government that panders to and creates racial tension for the purpose of keeping the corrupt in power. Memphis is a beautiful, cultural, crime-ridden city that is wasting away before our eyes. We are only one step above New Orleans.

28. Ever ridden on a roller coaster? LOVE roller coasters!!! But I have this little heart problem and the doctors tell me to stay away from them. :-(

29. What is your birthstone? Amethyst

30. Do you go in at a fast-food place or just hit the drive through? Drive thru.

31. What is your favorite number? I like either 3 or 5.

32. Do you have a dog? GOD NO. I will have to tell you about Lisa's...

33. Last person you talked to on the phone? My mom.

34. Have you met anyone famous? Dolly Parton, Joan Collins, Linda Evans, Naomi Judd, Rosanne Cash, Dixie Carter, Paula Deen...there are some more, but I can't remember them...

35. Any plans today? Shit, I just hope to get thru the day.

36. How many states have you lived in? 2 -- Tennessee and Alabama.

37. Ever go to college? Best 7 and 1/2 years of my life. Undergraduate degree: Bachelor of Professional Studies, Legal Management and Organizational Communication. Masters: Criminal Justice. University of Memphis for both.

38. Where are you right now? Sitting at my desk.

39. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? People.

40. Are you struggling to forgive someone right now? Very much so.

41. Are you allergic to anything? Penicillin and idiots (not necessarily in that order).

42. Favorite pair of shoes? Pair of really funky cowboy boots that I recently bought.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Tough Time...

This is a hard post to write, possibly the hardest one I will ever write and will probably explain why I haven't posted in awhile. In less than a month, one of my two best friends is moving away from Memphis. Long and short of it is - I'm not having an easy time of it. At all. I debated on whether or not to post something so intensely personal, but then I thought, hell - this is my blog and writing has always proved to be cathartic. So there. Not to mention, it will be interesting to read this again in 6 months from (hopefully) a different and less painful perspective.

I'll be honest -- it is hard to write this as I am on the edge of tears even now. I can't find the words to express the thought of not being around someone I have grown to care about so much. Although I have known this person for almost 15 years, the last 6 months have been life-changing. I have come to know the kindest and most sensitive person. If you knew him, you would know that the words "kind" and "sensitive" are not the first words that come to mind. He is anxious to leave Memphis and start over. I certainly understand that for I have seen the need in my own life to get away, but I will admit here that I have been too chicken-shit to actually do anything about it. All the practical and common sense reasons point to why it is good thing for him to go -- but, God, it hurts.

On top of that, it is hard for me to tell him how much he means to me as well as to his other friends. I take that back -- it is easy for me to tell him, which I have done, but it is not so easy to get him to really understand what he means to his friends and why they truly care about him and love him so much.

So, anyway, it is not easy facing the prospect of such a good friend being gone. There will definitely be a big hole in my life that I will have to learn to deal with. And it will be hard to go to all of our favorite haunts by myself. I will go. I certainly have the confidence in myself to go, even alone and have fun, but there will be so many memories attached that I wont be able to avoid.

I am throwing a going away party for him this weekend. I figure there will be about 25 people in my tiny (and I do mean tiny) house. I hope this thing goes off well and doesn't turn into a complete disaster. I am hardly Martha Stewart. Anyhoo --sorry I haven't blogged for so long. There has been a lot going on and it has been rather distracting. Thanks for reading...

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