Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye '08...

It is now the last day of the year. As I sit and write this, I honestly do not know where it went. It really seems just like yesterday when I was at my favorite hangout, Mollie Fontaine Lounge (as I will be tonite), ringing in 2008. I even remember conversations from that night. I'm not a big resolution person, so I am not going to try to make a lot of promises to myself that I wont follow thru on - though I am going to try very hard to do a few things.

First I want to be in better shape and a little thinner than I am now. I will be turning 40 in February and I am actually looking forward to it. I am in a better place in my life now than I ever have been now that I have come to grips with who I am and had some time to become comfortable with it and I am very happy about that. The other thing is I am going to try to swear off men, for I find that they are pigs and I certainly don't need one. I want to try to be happy with who I am rather than to find a man to complete me. Now don't get me wrong...things will still be taken care of. But I will not looking for a permanent man.

All that said, I hope all of you out there has the happiest of New Year's and stay SAFE!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Merry Christmas!

Thank you all for your kind words. Last week was kind of hard but I got thru it. I went out Saturday night with several of my close friends and I was the laughingstock as I figured I would be. One of my friends commented that that group is like a school of sharks...smell blood in the water and thats it. Oddly enough, they really do love me and I am thankful for that. I guess the worst of it is over.

If I don't post again before the holiday, I want to wish everyone a very happy Christmas and safe New Year. See yall in 2009!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Fiasco For the Ages...

Hello dear readers… Have I got a story for you. First, it imperative that you read the post below this in order to get the full effect. As you know, I met someone and was cautiously optimistic about the whole thing. Well… to fill in the gaps… about a week after meeting dude, we decided he was to come into town to visit me (he lives in Tupelo, MS). That weekend I did not hear anything at all – nothing – he just did not show. I called and called and got no answer. I left numerous messages and finally decided that I had been unceremoniously dumped. Come Monday of the next week, I sent him a somewhat nasty email saying that if he didn’t want to come see me he could have just said so – that I was a big boy, I can deal with it. I get an email right back saying that his mother died (I knew she had a heart attack the previous week) and that he texted me. Well hell. I don’t have texting on my phone. I felt like dirt. He said he did not want to miss the opportunity to get to know me.

So we talk on the phone and chat quite a bit for the next two weeks. His brothers from Chicago apparently came down for the funeral and expressed their desire to contest the will if they didn’t get enough. The will was read and they did not get anywhere close to what they wanted and proceeded to contest. They all went to court (which I thought was real quick, but it’s a small town so I figured things moved faster). Anyhoo – they went to court and the judge ruled that everything must be sold and split 3 ways amongst the brothers against the mother’s wishes. My guy told his brothers off on the courthouse steps and said he never wanted to see them again. We talked quite a bit after that and he said he couldn’t wait to come to Memphis and just hold me. (TOTALLY falling for this guy). I knew he had been thru a lot. So the plan was this past weekend he was to come to Memphis and stay at a hotel here. This was to be purely for discretionary purposes as he would actually be staying with me for most of the weekend. Also, I work a part-time job I could not get away from. I had the whole weekend planned out – where we were going to eat and what clubs were going to – all that. So Friday morning I get this call at 9:15 am saying he is on his way, just leaving Tupelo and that he plans to go to one of our God-awful malls and shop and get to the hotel around 1. I was going to take off at 2 and go directly to his hotel (for what I have concluded was the best sex of my entire life). I call at 2 and get no answer. I figure he is not in from shopping. Still no answer an hour later. And the next hour and the next. So I call the hotel figuring that he just went to sleep or something. He had not checked in nor was there a reservation in his name.

I was devastated. He simply NEVER showed. I had fallen for this guy only to be stood up. Now I will say I have the BEST friends in the WORLD as they took care of me all weekend. I cried, plotted revenge, etc, etc… My friends forbade me from every contacting Dickweed again.

So I make it thru the weekend – still no word from him. In the back of my mind, I had this notion that I would hear something from him and he would have an excuse. This past Tuesday, I got an email from him. Rather than attempting to describe what was said, I simply copied it and submit it for your consideration.

Please read:

To Whom it may concern,

I am emailing my uncles friends on line.. He was in a car accident on Friday in memphis. which later he died from the injuries he substained in the accident..
We will miss him and he always said to me that if anything would happen to him I was to send his friends this email..
He touched so many lives..
We know that he's with his mother which we lost her 2 weeks ago..

God Bless .........

Keep in mind that this is uncorrected – this is exactly what he wrote. HE TRIED TO FAKE HIS OWN DEATH!!!! WTF!!?!?!?!? After having read so many of his emails, this is UNMISTAKABLY him. Does he really think that I am this STUPID to read this and believe that he is dead??? NO ONE writes something like this. If I hadn’t fallen for the Dickweed, this would have actually been funny. Why could’nt he have said that he just didn’t want to come see me. I’m a big boy – I could have handled it…

To continue… he had sent me a picture in which he named the jpg attachment. A friend googled this and discovered him on several gay sex cites. I White-paged him and he does not live in Tupelo. The sex cite gels with what I found out. He has a partner and LOVES to play. He may even be something of a hustler that preys on people. And here I was falling for him. WOW. I sure can pick them. So not only am I hurting, but I have to be humiliated to my friends who cannot say anything more sympathetic than I finally bored someone to death. Another friend said that I must be pretty bad if someone has to fake their own death to avoid spending the weekend with me. They all think it is funny – I do not. It is horrible to trust someone and have them shit on you. I guess I will never learn. I think I have finally decided to just stick to sex. It is simply much easier. I should have never thought I could have acutally found someone. I just don't believe it is possible.

Monday, December 8, 2008


Just enough time for a quick update. The Boy is coming in town for the weekend and in short, I am smitten. Don't ask for rhyme or reason. There aint none here. I am falling for this one and it scares me to death. I have not totally fallen as I don't really know him and that would be stupid. But I have fallen head over heels in like. Or is it lust? Hmmmmm...... I am very much looking forward to getting to know him. His mother just died, so that precluded any trip to the great crime-ridden city of Memphis this past weekend. I will know more after this weekend. To think that this time last year I was crying over my best friend (for whom I had also fallen at the time) because he was moving to this. WOW! I would have laughed between my sniffles if you had said this would have happened.

Now - I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I tend to be something of a freak magnet. There has got to be a freak in there somewhere. There has to be. Otherwise why would he be attracted to me. A good friend has offered to "vet" my dates for me. So the Boy will summarily be sacrificed for the greater good (mine). I just all of a sudden "see" someone I simply must talk to and off I go and he will get the gentle yet probing third degree. If David can't draw it out of him it must not be there. I will know more this weekend... I will keep you posted. And if you believe in any sort of deity -- please pray this one works out...

Friday, November 21, 2008

I Think I Found Someone...maybe.

Yes, dear readers, you read it right. After the last boy that I thought was great just left me out in the cold, I swore off men. Just like that. I was thru. Until Friday. I was at my local watering hole, the aptly named Pumping Station, when I met this guy. He was on his way out as I was coming in. I found a couple of friends and spoke to them and we made eye contact (and let me just say he is very easy on the eyes). He walked out back to the patio and I went right behind him. He later told me that he wanted to see if I was interested too and if I didn't walk to the patio, that he was out of there. Well I did and I am very glad that I did.

The boy lives in Tupelo, Mississippi, which for those of you un-Southern individuals, is a little town almost 2 hours south of Memphis in the middle of nowhere -- I mean, Mississippi. We have chatted quite a bit on the phone and emailed as well and so far, I really like what I know. Of course, I don't really know him after just meeting him, but I am really looking forward to finding out who he is.

Now don't get me wrong. I have learned numerous lessons from my freak-dating in the recent past. As I wait for the other shoe to fall, I am going to have this one stamped and verified. I want to know if he has a criminal record and, after Mr. Non-Neurosurgen this summer, I want to see tax records (or at the very least a W-2) as proof of employment. I wish there was a way I could determine if there are any psychological issues...hmmmmmmm.

I don't want to jinx it, but I am a freak-magnet. But I do think it is odd that the right after I swear off men that this one comes along. So far, he has pushed all the right buttons - and that is something that none of the others that I have gone out with have managed to do. We shall see what we shall see. Wish me luck and I will keep you posted...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I am officially disgusted with the creature called the gay man. The short version. I had kinda sorta been seeing this guy as of late. I'm really into this guy. I even dared to believe he might be ... (gasp)... different. Well, he's NOT. We had been seeing each other for about a month and a half. We would hang out and he liked to make out like a fiend in the car or pretty much anywhere else. So I go off to Florida on my little vacation and I call him when I get there. No response that week at all. Then when I return to Memphis, I call to let him know I got back. Still no response. I email asking what is up. He emails me back saying that he has been busy yada, yada, yada and that I did nothing wrong, its just him (bleck). Two of my good friends said to simply walk away. I showed the email to a third friend and she said that he just wasn't that into me. Well, okey dokey. I wish he had let me know that before spending a month and a half with me and making out with me every chance he got.

I saw him this past weekend at Mollie Fontaine's and he came up to me and hugged me and asked how I was. I said fine and walked off. Now comes the interesting part. I have discovered that he is FaceBook friends with another guy I know. So I asked my friend how he knows dude and he denies knowing him. Hmmm... Ok. My feeling is since they are friends on FaceBook, someone had to initiate the be-friending and someone had to accept. Two actions - not an accident. So I ask the other guy how he knew him and he, also, denied knowing him. Two denials. YET THEY ARE FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK. I have this gut feeling that they went "bump" in the night one time and are both trying to forget it ever happened OR they still see each other occasionally. At least be honest about it.

I swear I have gotten to the point where I trust no one. No one is what they appear. I think I will just stick to sex. It's easier. Speaking of...I want these boys... now. Ok, dear readers - what is your opinion of the situation?

Friday, October 31, 2008

I'm BAAACK!!!!!!

Well kids, I'm BACK!!! Florida was wonderful. I only stayed a week this time as I had to dogsit one of my best friends creatures (Golden Retrievers) and I wanted to be back by Halloween. Lots of fun. The weather was about half good. It rained cats and dogs for a couple of days I was there. Then there was a couple of sunny days and then it turned cold. My ass can go on a beach just about anytime - EXCEPT when it is 50 degrees out. Brrr... I went to a couple of boy bars and realized how much I missed Memphis in that aspect...

I had some really good visits with some friends. The most special time was when my friend Jack saw me and said "welcome home". That's when I realized that Sarasota is just as much home for me as Memphis is. I may not have as many friends there but what I lack in quantity, I make up for in quality.

Tonite I am going to my neighbors house for trick or treating and wine drinking. I have never stayed in my hood for Halloween. As it turns out, Halloween is the anniversary of my heart attack. That was 14 years ago today. It has only been in the past couple of years that I have gotten back in the spirit of Halloween and in a lot of ways it is exciting. I am going as the biker from the Village People. We'll see if I am the laughing stock.

Check out the pics that I took... all taken by me except for the hot boys, which I wish I could take... :-)

Monday, October 20, 2008

Life is Sweet!

It's that time again! Time to go sit my fat, happy ass on a beach in Florida for a week. I use that term "fat" loosely and advisedly, as I am returning to the Sunshine State about 20 pounds lighter than when I was last there. Can't WAIT to see all my peeps down there. I will post some pics when I return for the one or two readers that still drop by. I am going to work on being a better poster. I'll try hard, but I can't be CB... Now if I can just find me a big hunk of man-meat like these boys, then life will truly be excellent...

Later Peeps --

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Much Ado About Nothing...

Due to the lack of what we in Memphis so quaintly call "baby-daddy-mamma-drama" in my life, I submit a meme for your consideration. (I am SUCH the sucker for these things)


What's going on between you and the last person you kissed?
Not sure because I can’t remember who I kissed last…that sounds TOTALLY slutty, I know.

What was your worst mistake in your life?
Not going to law school OR taking this job – take your pick…

Would you get back with your last ex if they asked you?
Don’t really have an ex…

Name 3 thoughts you have at this exact moment?
(a) I’m HUNGRY
(b) Looking forward to exercise class tonite
(c) It SUCKS to be poor

What's something you really want right now, be honest?
If I will ever have someone fall in love with me at the same time I fall for them and if I will ever be more than a pauper.

Three feelings at the moment?
(a) hunger
(b) discontentment
(c) boredom

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
... as in want to puke b/c nervous? – oddly, I can’t recall one at the moment –I have tried
... as in love / crush? – to protect the guilty, we wont go there.

Does anything hurt on your body?
My knees (get your mind out of the gutter, bitches)

What are you listening to right now?
not much - -it’s actually kind of quiet here at work…oh, wait – my STUPID co-worker just came in. Now I will be listening to her talk ENDLESSLY without actually saying anything.

Have you ever punched a hole in the wall?
Not a hole, but close enough

Where were you at 2:00 this morning?
Safe in my bed asleep…alone

Who did you copy this from?
Jason L.

When was the last time you saw them?
Early summer I believe.

How well do you know them?
More socially than anything else

Where’s the weirdest place you've changed clothes?
Back of a van.

Do you wear glasses? No

Who do you love?
Right now, just me; friends, family.

What's the cd in your player?
some old jazz

Anything annoying you right now?
I think a better question would be – what is not annoying me right now?

Anybody you're looking forward to seeing soon?
My aunt and friends when I go to Florida in a couple of weeks

Is there a friend particularly that you miss?
A dear friend that in town this weekend and went back to Philly.

What is your underwear color?
Light blue boxers.

Anywhere you'd rather be right now?
Please…just point to anywhere in the US…

Are you going anywhere for the next summer?
Probably my usual Florida trips.

Do you have plans today?
Exercise class tonite followed by a drink at Mollie Fontaine’s

Last kiss mean anything?
Just good ol fun

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Sadly, probably Stein-Mart (it’s a dress shirt for work – I have better taste than this … really)

What are your chances of getting with your crush?
Don’t really have a crush right now…

When was the last time you were told you were amazing?
Hmmm… let me get back to you on this one…

Does anyone love you?
Actually, I think so…

Do you have many friends?
Yes, and I'm grateful for them all.

What girl/boy can you tell everything to?
Marshall, Lisa and Cindie

Do you dance in the car?
Yeah, I do… J

******** Part Deux*****************
Do you have any big plans for November?
Thanksgiving at Lisa’s house
Being off for the holidays
Enjoying the fall

What upcoming event are you most looking forward to?
My 40th birthday – I plan to go to Philly and New York

What was the last song you heard?
”Walking on Broken Glass”

What time did you wake up today?

What does your last incoming text say?
I do not text.

Is there a vase in the room you're in?
Somewhere, but it does NOTHING for this dump I in which I find myself…

Have you recently been insulted?
Not that I can recall…

Are there people you feel more connected to than others?
Yes, absolutely.

Are you more like your mother or your father?
Both actually – I have the good qualities of both, but my dad likes to say that I have my Mom’s WORST characteristics, which reallllly pisses me off.

Describe the pants you are wearing:
Flat-front khakis

Are any of your myspace pictures alcohol related?
Are you kidding?

What were you most recently happy about?
I had a wonderful walk at lunch…

Are you a fan of cake?
All kinds – but in particular strawberry and carrot cake

Are you shy?
I actually am in some situations.

Do you like music?
Absolutely! It is a reflection of the soul…

When was the last time you stepped in a church?

Have you ever seen the movie Little Miss Sunshine?
LOVED it!!

Ever been snow-mobiling?

Ever played lazer tag?

Ever been in a car wreck?
Yep! AND the fucktard left the scene!

Favorite fruit?

Your favorite thing to drink on a hot summer day?

What was the weather like today?
Sunny and cool

Last thing you drank?

Who was your FIRST prom date?
Chris Rodgers

Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Sure do.

What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?

Where was your FIRST job?
Chic-fil-A. Still love there food…

What was your FIRST car?
1979 Datsun hatchback, beige.

Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
Again – do not text

Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
Whatever idiot that was on the morning news.

Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. Holt

Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
Don’t remember… I was so young…

Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them?
Mike, from childhood… and no.

What was your FIRST sport played?
It should read “first and only” – soccer. I don’t like to get sweaty. Actually, I do, but…

Where was your FIRST sleep over?
My house, I think

Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
My mom

Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
My aunt Janet’s when I was 4yrs old

What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Peed. Well, you asked…

**********Part Trois*******

Whose birthday is coming up?

Last time someone has given you butterflies?
About two weeks ago.

Do you have nice eyes?
I sure do.

What is something you need to go shopping for?
New fall clothes

Were you happy when you woke up?
I was grumpy.

What song are you listening to?
Some classical piece on Public Radio

When was the last time you smiled?
Little bit ago

What woke you up this morning?
My stupid alarm clock.

Is your Myspace profile private?
it is.

What color is your toothbrush?
Green and white

Whats the last thing you purchased?
A really cool shirt on eBay.

Favorite clothing store?
Wow, it depends.The Buckle, Lansky, Lux, Tommy Bahama, Baer's Den

What is the reason behind your MySpace song?
I have old TV themes on my MySpace. Harkens back to a better time…

Are you talking to anyone while doing this?

Have you ever played an instrument?
I butchered the trumpet when I was younger.

What were you doing last night at 11?
Had dinner with a dear friend and was getting ready for bed.

Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like?
Not at all

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with J?
Hell yeah.

What’s the strangest thing you have heard today?
Something my coworker was saying about a donkey being shot killed in Jackson, Tennessee because it rammed a police car and the tranquilizers didn’t work. I mean. WTF???

Name some people that made you laugh yesterday:
Teresa and Marshall

How late did you stay up last night and why?
until about 11pm – went to bed as soon as I came home

What was the last thing you ate?
Half of a turkey sandwich

Have you ever made out in a public bathroom stall?

Do you get distracted easily?

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Brushed my teeth

Are you jealous of someone?
Only those with more money than me.

Have you ever gone out with someone cause you felt sorry for them?
I have never given a pity date before, and I'm sure I've probably gotten one or two before as well.

Would you rather go camping or to a five star hotel?
A five star…Why, you buying???

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?
My STUPID co-worker who has Head-Up-Ass Syndrome.

What is your current mood?

Ever had a surprise birthday party?
Actually, no

Do you prefer to take showers in the morning or night?
Anytime, or both

Last time you told someone you loved them?
Couple of days ago when my friend went home.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I'm a Pissy Bitch...

I have officially HAD it with people. I have discovered that I just plain don't like them. Just now, I was in the breakroom talking with a coworker. We were the only ones in there, so I was speaking in a normal tone of voice. Some goofturd intern walks in and goes to the snack machine to get something that will make him even fatter. So, not wanting the whole world to know of what I was speaking, I lower my voice. My friend does the same. After we conclude the conversation, we are giggling and walking off. Goofturd proceeds to inform us that "its not polite to whisper, people". WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? Who in the FUCK does he think he is?!?!?!? I was not speaking to him because I do not nor do I ever want to know this little fucktard with Head Up Ass Syndrome. God Almighty.

Not to mention that I cannot STAND bad drivers. I seem to have encountered EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IN MEMPHIS today. And I have not even gone home yet where I am sure I will encounter more of these boils on the butt of humanity. I have been pissy all day over stupid people, but the intern just took the cake. I just need to breathe deeply ... and get laid...preferably by one of these. Yeah, that would make me feel better...

Friday, October 3, 2008

I'm A Happy Bitch...

Well, not too terribly much to report new in my life...except that I have lost another 2 pounds! That brings my grand total to 18 so far. I am hoping to loose at least another 10 if I can. I have been lifting weights like a fiend, so my actual weight may not go down that far.

On other looking forward to this weekend. My bestest friend is coming in town from Philly and I can't wait to see him tonight. I have this feeling there are going to be a couple of late nights clubbing and drinking for us drunks.

Also, we in the great city of Memphis (not) will have a big art and craft fair that hopefully I can go to on Sunday (if I am not too tired from partying). That's about it folks. Told you...nothing too exciting.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


It's official. I'm taking on Big Oil. Just you sit down a minute and let me tell you what happened to me. Two Monday nights ago, I was visiting my parents for dinner in Bartlett, Tennessee (a small city almost completely surrounded my the wretched city of Memphis). Anyzort, I needed to get gas for the car and my mom told me to go to Citgo (since they have the cheapest gas around) and put money on a gift card. If you do this and use the gift card at the pump, you get an additional .03 or more off the price of the gas. So she lent me her card and I hauled ass up there and put some money on her card and got gas. Then (idiot me) went back in the store and said I would like one of those cards. Dude said he couldn't just give me one - that I would have to put some money on it. I gave him a 20 and he gave me the card. I figured that since I just filled up, that I could wait till the next Monday (the 22nd) and use the card.

Well, Monday rolls around, I go to Citgo and try (note I said try) to use said card. The attendant tells me the card is empty, which is impossible since I HAVEN'T USED IT. So Dickweed tells me, very curtly, to call the manager. Poor little Dickweed... he has no idea who he is fucking with and how far I can take things. So I think there is maybe ONE chance that there was a mistake. Perhaps I have given the wrong card to my mom. I go back to their house and she pulls out her card, which she has not used. I call the 800 number on the back and it says both cards have a 0 balance. I'm good and pissed now as I have lost $20.00. I figure either they are going to refund my $20.00 or I am going to take at least $20.00 of their time and effort. So, the next day, I call the 800 number and they ... wait for it... tell me that both cards have been used previously. Again I try to explain to Dickweed's brother Dickwad that that was not possible. Dickwad said that I was given a used card!!!! I wanted to know how in FUCKING HELL it was used when I saw Dickweed pick it up off the stack and break the attachment off and run it. It was NOT a reloaded card. He maintained that it was. Dickwad said they will do some sort of "investigation" and they will get back with me in 7-10 bidness days. I am SOOOO far from being satisfied.

Then I ask for the number of the Regional Manager for Citgo, who was actually very nice. He contacted the local manager who promised to go thru all the register tapes. This was yesterday. As I am typing this - at this moment - I just got a call from the local manager. She says that she can only find one card on the tapes and nothing on the other one. I'm thinking the card didn't take when Dickweed swiped it. She claims up and down that that can't POSSIBLY be the case. AND GET THIS! She says that perhaps my mom got the card with the $20.00 on it and THREW IT AWAY BY MISTAKE. She does not know my mother. Mistakes are something my mother never makes. So as of now, I have been screwed out of my money by the big oil company. For the record, I will NEVER step foot in another Citgo in my natural lifetime. And beware... if some Dickweed or Dickwad says to put money down on a "gift" card...DON'T. The only "gift" you will get is screwed (without the benefit of lubricant). Now, I just need to relax and think about what it would be like to run my tongue all over the chests of these hot boys...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I'm On My Way to Being a Skinny Bitch!!!

I am so fucking proud of myself!!!!!!! Last night I went to exercise class and weighed myself for the first time in two weeks. Since starting the SugarBusters diet on August 11th, I have lost a total of 16 pounds!!! YAY ME!! AND it has been relatively painless. When I went to the doctor a couple of months ago, I weighed 197. That was the most I have ever weighed in my life. Now I am down to 181! I am a total fan of SugarBusters. Most of it is common sense. Essentially you can't eat anything with sugar in it as sugar is the devil. I thought that this task would be nearly impossible and if, in fact, possible then damn restrictive. Neither has proven to be true. The truth is that the things that you can't eat are very few. They essentially want you to eat foods in their pure form and not processed -- foods that are low to middle on the glycemic index. The glycemic index measures how fast foods turn into sugar once you ingest them. How fast they turn into sugar depends on the insulin release which is directly correlated to weight gain. And I would not call this a low-carb diet as I am eating bread at every meal. It was hard to find a whole grain bread that didn't have sugar as one of the top three ingredients, but I did (Nature's Own 7 Grain) -- and it was actually quite good. Of course, I did have to give up beer. Sadly, beer is what got me in the shape (so to speak) that I am in now. BUT I have been drinking wine - red and white. And since I love wine, this is not a problem. Now if the diet had said no drinking at all, I think I would have to kill myself. Like most people I know, alcohol is the glue that holds my universe together... OH -- AND I get to eat chocolate - dark chocolate which I LOVE. The book has a list of super foods that they say we are supposed to eat whenever we can. It includes things that are very beneficial in terms of fatty acids and antioxidants - mostly common sense stuff - and dark chocolate with more than 60% cocoa is one of them. So that satisfies my sweet tooth. There is NOTHING IN THE WORLD, (except sex) more satisfying than having red wine and dark chocolate together. Oh, the flavor. But I digresseth...

They are also real big on portion control. If you think about it, we Americans eat so freaking MUCH. Since I have started watching the amount of food I eat, I find that it takes less to make me feel full. And I eat several little meals all day long to keep the metabolism going (mine, in particular, is painfully slow and needs its worthless ass whipped into shape -- that sounds dirty - heehee). Add to that I have been working out at a Group Fitness program called Group Power. It is a one hour long barbell class that works each of the major muscle groups. I am actually getting thinner and gaining muscle, something I have never done in my entire life. And I cannot tell you how much better I feel, both physically and emotionally. People can tell you all day long you look like you have lost weight, but nothing compares to the feeling of going up a belt notch or buying a shirt a size down from what you normally wear. Someone should put that feeling in pill form and we would solve America's crack problem. Anyhoo -- that's the latest with me. I'll keep you posted. One of these days, I am going to look like these bois...

Friday, September 12, 2008

Hat, sir...

The funniest thing happened to me last night. I went up to my favorite gay haunt, Mollie Fontaine Lounge. I went early to visit my bartender friend at the bar and we chatted it UP and discovered that we are about to be neighbors. A really good friend of mine came in after he went to the Outflix movie (annual gay film festival here in Baghdad on the Bluff). So we were upstairs drinking and making merry when the DJ, Steve Anne, shows up to start spinning the tunes. He comes in with some guy wearing a grey fedora hat.

Charlie makes the comment that he doesn't like those hats and that he wishes people wouldn't wear them anymore, especially kids these days. I took umbrage and said I really like them. He said they were stupid looking. I asked the guy if I could see his hat for a second. There was someone right behind me so him being tall and all he just leaned over and put it on my head. I told Charlie see, hats are cool and that I can wear a hat well and that he probably could too because he has a good hat head. He pronounced it was "acceptable". I returned the hat and went back to drinking. As I was leaving, the guard was walking me to my car and said isn't that cool that Steve Anne brought in the lead singer of the B52s, Fred Schneider. Said he was wearing the funky hat. I almost shat myself. That is so like have a brush with greatness and not even know it. Le sigh...

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