Friday, August 31, 2007

It's Labor Day, Bitches!

The King of Useless Information is back. Have you ever wondered about the history of Labor Day. God, I sure haven't. I don't look a gift horse in the mouth. All I care about is I don't have to go to my soul-sucking job for a day. But for all you inquiring minds who want to know...from Wikepedia:

Labor Day is has been celebrated on the first Monday in September in the United States since the 1880s. The form that the observance and celebration of Labor Day should take were outlined in the first proposal of the holiday — a street parade to exhibit to the public "the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations" of the community, followed by a festival for the recreation and amusement of the workers and their families. This became the pattern for the celebrations of Labor Day. Speeches by prominent men and women were introduced later, as more emphasis was placed upon the economic and civic significance of the holiday. Still later, by a resolution of the American Federation of Labor convention of 1909, the Sunday preceding Labor Day was adopted as Labor Sunday and dedicated to the spiritual and educational aspects of the labor movement.

And there you have it. Everyone enjoy the weekend and have a safe holiday...

Monday, August 27, 2007

The King of Useless Information

Last night I was told by one of my surly friends that I know way too much useless information. I know more...

Many years ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented.

It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"....and thus the word GOLF
entered into the English language.


The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and
Wilma Flintstone.


Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.


Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.


Coca-Cola was originally green.


It is impossible to lick your elbow.


The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska


The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% ( now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%


The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400


The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000


Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.


The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.


The youngest pope was 11 years old.


The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.


The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.


Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

> > >> Spades - King David

> > >> Hearts - Charlemagne

> > >> Clubs -Alexander, the Great

> > >> Diamonds - Julius Caesar


111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321


If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the

the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of

wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died

of natural causes.


Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,

John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but
the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.


Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace


Q. Most boat owners name their boats.

What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession


Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand


Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
printers all have in common?

A. All invented by women.


Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey


Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day


In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When
you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to
sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."


It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was
lunar based, this period was called the honey month...which we know today as
the honeymoon.


In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.. So in old England,
when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints
and quarts, and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and


Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim,
or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by
this practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Beware! Blogger Messed Up...

I just posted, but for some reason Blogger put it further down in the posts. Scroll below to Might As Well Be Sex and the City...

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Here's to You, New York, New York....

Well peeps, I just spent the most fabulous weekend in New York and all I can say is WOW. Is is possible to fall in love with a city? It must be because I cherish every moment I am able to spend in the Big Apple. I went up for a friend's 40th birthday. All of us live in luuuuuuuvley Memphis and decided to make a long weekend of it. One thing that made this weekend really nice was that we had no plans. Now those of you that know me know that I am the ULTIMATE planner. (Some haters have slandered me as a control freak, but I think they're jealous of my superior organizational skills.) I must say however, it was really nice not to know where we were going or what was going to happen. Spontaniety, people - taht's what I'm all about. We spent a lot of time wandering SoHo and Greenwich Village, just looking around. My friends spent tons of money. Me being the poor red-headed stepchild that I am, was unable to purchase several shirts at a hundred bucks a pop. But that's ok. The Village was especially fun as I had not spent much time there at all and got to see a completely different side of the city. One night we went to have drinks at the Oriental Mandarian Hotel in the Time Warner Center. This is the most expensive hotel in the city. Rooms start at $2500.00 a night (or so I'm told). The kicker is that the lobby is on the 35th floor overlooking Central Park and Central Park South. One of the best money shots in the city. We had quite expensive cocktails and some h'or doerves that we didn't order. But it was spectacular to see the city go from dusk to darkness. Two completely different views, each one awe inspiring.

However, it was two other things that really made this trip stand out. One was that we went to Tony and Tina's Wedding. Now, I don't know how many of you have been to this - but let me just say it is a HOOT. It's an off-Broadway show that is more interactive than just a show you go and watch. You are actual guests at this wedding party and reception. It is My Big Fat Greek Wedding meets the Sopranos. Compeletely over the top. They feed you dinner, wedding cake and champagne. And as the evening wears on, the "family" drinks more and the reception disintergrates. Fights start. One girl starts stripping. They will come to your table and gossip with you about the other family members. I especially enjoyed it when the absolutely burning hot gay brother of the bride came and danced with me. Apparently, this show has been around for 20 years, but I had never heard of it. Also, I am told it travels - so if it comes to your city, most definately go see it. If you allow yourself to really get into it you will have more fun than you can shake a stick at.

The other thing that really stands out is that my 40 year old friend and I frequented a few gay bars. And I made a friend. A firefighter from Queens. How sexy is that I ask you. And I will tell you -- very.

My weekend was WAYYYYYYY too short. But the city was perfection and the company I kept was priceless. I will soon post some of my photos up and soon as I (the non-computer geek) can figure out how to do so...In the meantine, yall will have to settle for these...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


I just wanted to take a minute and say thank you and how much I appreciate all the kind responses to my post about my poor choices in picking men as of late (see "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?"). It's people like you that make me really glad I finally came out...

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

What A Weekend!

One of my dearest friends had his 40th birthday this past Friday night. Wow. I don't think I still have fully recovered. We started off by going to his parents house for grilled hamburgers. A lot of his friends were there. Perfectly lovey time. We then went to a bar called Barbie's to sing karaoke (I'm not sure how that's spelled). Barbie's is housed in what was in another lifetime a Pizza Hut. Now it is located in a less than savory part of town (but considering this is Memphis, the entire city has become less than savory). In short, we had a BLAST! You cannot get me drunk enough to sing karaoke, but it is such a hoot to watch others do it. I remember looking around at the people there thinking that I hope my 40th birthday is just as special and thinking what a lucky bastard he is to have such good friends. After everyone went home, I being the good designated driver and friend that I am, took my friend around on the Memphis Gay Bar Tour. We had a lot of fun and closed down the last bar at 3 am. I am very thankful that I got to spend that quality time with him. I was thankful for that up until I had to go work at my part-time job Saturday and attempt to function with literally no sleep.

This will probably be my last post this week as we are headed to New York City on Thursday. To me NYC is like crack. I just can't get enough of it (Please don't take from that that I take crack - just an expression). I can't wait. With my job being as awful as it is, I have to get away every so often and this time I'm really feeling it bad. So glad to be getting out of Memphis. I will post again next week about what all we did. I imagine it will entail a lot of drinking...I wonder if I should go ahead and make my reservations at Betty Ford...

Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

Well, I had a most interesting evening, last night. As a few of you are aware, I went out on my first bona-fide, real-live date with a man about three weeks ago now. It was perfectly lovely and I had a lovely time. I should have known then that something was very wrong. I had been trying to get together with said individual for a couple of weeks now with little success. There was always some reason or the other that he couldn't (read: wouldn't) want to see me. We were supposed to get together last night but he cancelled on me. Did he call and cancel, he asks? Nooooo -- that would have been the proper thing to do. No - I call him for directions and then he says he can't meet me but that we can do it the next night when I'm free. Ummmm Hummmm.....

Since I was unceremoniously ditched, I decided to take my pity party to the local gay watering hole. It was there that I bumped into an individual (not the date guy -- someone different) that I had met last Friday night at another establishment of ill-repute. Suffice to say that when I met this guy last week he was so drunk that it was amazing he could stand up. He became quite amorous with myself and my friend at the same time. Not a problem for me. It is what it is (or was, in this case). Back to the bar last night -- he comes in and barely remembers me, and does not remember my friend at all. I'm thinking, yeah - he was pretty polluted. He chats and has a couple of beers and leaves. The dude sitting next to me is a bartender at another bar and knows pretty much everybody. He asked what line this guy was feeding me. I said he wasn't giving me a line and told the story about him being drunk last Friday night. Dude said he wasn't drunk, that he was high on pills. Good Lord. It made sense. Glazed look, didn't smell alcohol. My friend said he thought I knew about this guy. Of course I didn't ... being recently out and all, I don't know all the dish on everyone. I'm still green as grass.

So, my friend asks me why I'm out and about during the week, as is usually not normal behavior for me. I said I had been stood up. By who? Didn't want to say as he is probably known. I said. My friend came off the barstool. "You need to stay the HELL away from him!!!" My God, why? Apparently, he has some pretty bad non-legal pharmaceutical issues that have plagued him for some time. I believe the phrase was "chemically unpure". I was told there is only one bar in town that will let him in anymore. I was told to run for my life and that I have realllllllly bad taste in men. Well, no shit, Sherlock. Dude then calls the bartender over to verify his story. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the worst) how bad was date guy? 15, and he didn't even blink. My friend purchased me a liquid hug and said I was growing up. Which brings me to the point here...I said I just went out with him because he was pretty to which dude replied, "He is pretty...pretty fucked up... and you're pretty too... pretty naive". Point well taken. Thank God I had an angel looking over my shoulder last night that saved me a whole lotta trouble.

But I got to thinking, the only reason I was attracted to both guys in the first place is because of their looks. Which is common. I mean, why are we attracted to anyone. Initially, it is their looks that hook us at the word go and we discover who they really are after that. I found out who these guys were and I don't want any part of that crap. But that kind of makes me gun shy at this point. I seem to have found two real winners in a row. Is this all I have to look forward to during my journey through queerdom? Is there anybody out there with substance and not a substance abuse problem? I have been told the gay community is as shallow as a frying pan, but I honestly thought that I could maneuver it better than this and at least recognize people for what they are. Or at least I thought so. Is this sort of thing going to happen over and over or is there someone out there that might somehow, possibly be good for me? I think I would just settle for an arranged marriage...Anyone got a hot man you're looking to marry off??

Might as well be Sex and the City...

Book report time again, bitches. I tell you, I just got finished reading one of the most fun books I have read in a long, long time. Tales of the City by Armisted Maupin. I realize that I may be the last living person on the face of the earth to read this book. It was written in 1978 as a serial in whatever the San Fransisco paper is and has spawned 6 sequels. The story centers around a young woman vacationing in SF and, on the spur of the moment, decides to move there. She rents a room from a woman who is a landlady in an apartment building. What follows is pure literary magic.

The chapters are very short, only a couple of pages each, and the entire book is mostly dialog driven. If you're looking for long epic prose, this ain't it, babycakes. But, it is very readable and a very quick read. I will admit it took me about halfway through the book to get hooked, but once it happened, I could not put it down. I would read it at breakfast, on my lunch hour and in bed at night (on those few nights when no one else was joining me -- wink, wink). There are a lot of characters who are very diverse in their backgrounds (gay, straight, inter-racial) but are all connected. And it will blow you away how the connections are made. There are a couple of gut-punch moments that will almost take your breath away. Of course, now I have had to run out and get the first of the sequels, entitled imaginatively enough More Tales of the City, closely followed by ... wait for it ... Further Tales of the City.

Don't let the titles fool you. They are really fun, light summer reads. It is kind of like a time capsule, as the setting is the late 1970's SF before cell phones and fax machines and all our technological shit that was supposed to make our life better, but has somehow managed to complicate it more. But you do kind of forget that the setting isn't the present. There is a lot of sex (not graphic) and rampant drug use, which we all know has absolutely no correlation in the gay community at all. This was pre-AIDS time; however, I believe some of the subsequent books deal with some of the characters becoming positive.

Having done a little research on the book and the author, I was amazed to discover how popular this book has become over the last 30 years. Back in the early 80s, PBS aired a mini-series of the book that apparently was highly controversial at the time as it was the first time that two homosexuals were shown kissing on television. From what I read about the mini-series, it was critically acclaimed and popular as well. It is now in my Netflix queue. If you are looking for something to read and are one of those people like me who have been living under a rock and haven't read it, give it a try. I think it will be a fun and rewarding read. Now, I wish I could read it at work...

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

A Weighty Observation...

Ok -- This post is at the request of a friend of mine (same friend who likes to tell me what to write about). At first, I poo-pooed the idea, as I generally do her suggestions. But the more I got to thinking, the more I decided I have might have something to say after all.

Today, the cast of characters involves three people: myself, and two of my best friends (hereafter referred to as #1 and #2). As most of my faithful (few) readers will recall, I have subjected myself to the trials and tribulations of a diet. Have been for three weeks. And I have done quite well, thank you. I have been ardently practising the finer tenets of the Suzanne Somers diet plan. I have yet to weigh myself, and don't really plan on doing so in the near future. What I can say is that my clothes feel remarkably looser and my face (angelic thing that it is), my legs and arms have defiantly got smaller. The torso area is the last to go, but praise sweet Jesus, its getting there too. However, I still feel like a lard-ass and will until I loose approximately another 15-20 pounds. But, I have a realistic perspective on the situation and realize that the weight did not appear overnight, and, by God, it ain't going away overnight. I choose perseverance.

Friend #2 exercises like a fiend. He runs around in endless circles and generally takes care of himself...excessive drinking, notwithstanding. And he has the body to show for it (cute to boot, too). Plus, he has benefited from a fortunate spin of the ol' genetic wheel.

Which brings us to friend #1. My problem child. This one recently came to the conclusion that perhaps she might need to shed a few pounds. Problem is, she hasn't figured out how to do it effortlessly. Sweet child, it wont be effortless, but what we should be concerned with here is the concept of self-discipline. I shit you not...I actually got the question from her, "What do I do at work when the donuts come around?" Well, bout just say NO THANK YOU!! (God Almighty) As I have told her, ad nauseum, I am much more concerned with her health than her looks. And the thing is, she can do this. She has done it before with remarkable success. And she can do it again if she sets her mind to it.

Which brings me to the larger issue here. Everyone knows we have a weight problem in this country. I don't have the exact obesity statistics on hand at present, but suffice to say, it's a honkin' lot. We're talking epidemic levels here. This of course, is not news to anyone, but lest there is someone living under a rock somewhere, just open your eyes and look around. Add to that that we have a society that deifies the thin to the point of eating disorders. As an aside, I was watching a television show awhile back and a little girl asked her grandma what anorexia was. Her grandmother replied, "its a disease little girls catch from reading too many magazines." I LOVE it.

I guess my point in all this is that we all need to possess a semblance of personal responsibility and self-discipline in our lives. Not just in the area of weight, but throughout our entire lives. I would rather see a person with an otherwise imperfect body make a good-hearted effort to get in and stay in optimal health rather than going off the deep end attempting having the "perfect" body that even if attained, will not and cannot satisfy. I know I'm not getting any younger, but personally, I would rather have another healthy 40 years ahead of me although I know that decision is ultimately in the hands of the good Lord above. But I'm certainly going to try my damnedest to do my part.

As food for thought (perhaps those aren't the right words) I submit for your inspiration some delicious eye-candy (well, hell -- can't go with eye-CANDY, either). Here -- just look and lust.

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