Friday, December 28, 2007

Kiss Off 2007


Wow! Another year has gone by. Can you believe it. They seem to go by so much quicker with each passing year. It REALLLLLY doesn't seem like 12 months ago since the last New Year's Eve party. It really doesn't. Yet so much has happened in these 12 short months. For me, by far the biggest, was coming out to my friends and learning to find my way in the gay community. I have certainly made my share of mistakes in this short time and I have a feeling that I will be trying to find my way for some time to come. The end of the year always brings about some form of introspection. Perhaps that is what the end of the year is for...to see where we have been so we can see where to go. Generally, I, like most other lazy Americans, will make the same January resolution to loose weight or some other such silliness. But something happened yesterday to change my perspective on the way I view the end of the year. That thing was the assination of Benazir Bhutto. What a waste. This woman loved her country and was trying, against horrible opposition, her best to make it more liveable and fair for all of its citizens. And they had to kill her for that. At the end of this year, her story tells me to stand for what I believe is right. She certainly. Many would say look what it got her. It got her message of peace and democracy out to the world. One person can make a difference, even when they are gone. With all this said, I want to look forward to another year of opportunities and blessings. I hope each of you has a SAFE and JOYFUL New Year.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Merry Christmas to all...



I wanted to take this opportunity to say a heartfelt Merry Christmas to all my fellow bloggers out there. Since I wont have access to a computer for the next few days, I decided to send out these wishes now. I hope every one of you out there has the best holiday. Take time to be thankful for your family and friends and love each other...

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

More questions...


I've done thieved again. I stole from Anonyboy once and he didn't get mad. So I thought why stop there. Here are the rest of his questions. Thank you, sweetie, for being so understanding...Now I owe you two...


Favorite city? NEW YORK CITY!!!!

Favorite color? LOVE Green.

Name something you can't wait to do? Retire and do something fun.

Last time you saw your mom? Last night.

Do you get along with your siblings? Don't have any, thank GOD, because I'm sure I wouldn't get along with them.

What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself? That I would care less about what other people think.

How long have you been at your current job? 13 years, 2 months, and 11 days.

Last person you called? One of my best friends...question is...what did I call her??? :-)

Last thing you ate? A paninni for lunch.

What is your favorite/least favorite month? Least favorite is January -- WAYYYY too cold. Favorite: April -- SPRINGTIME!!!



What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from anyone? I don't think that I have...

Who's getting on your nerves right now? That's a loaded question. If someone is breathing, then its a good bet they are on at least one of my nerves...

Most visited webpage? Ebay, MySpace or Amazon -- sorry, I can't get more specific.

Last person you text messaged? I. Do. Not. Text.

Last person who made you sad? A friend of mine at work that I have known for 13 years -- she retired and didn't say goodbye.

Would you take a bullet for your best friend? In a heartbeat.

Favorite type of drink? beer, wine, vodka, gin, whiskey -- anything with an alcohol base.

Favorite food? Y'all gonna think I'm absolute trailer trash, but Rotel dip is my favorite. If it is at a party, I hover over the bowl. There is NOTHING on this earth better than Velveeta. Slap yo mama good...

Favorite dessert? Banana pudding

Ever been to Europe? Of course. I wanted to slap the French like everyone else.

Do you own a camera phone? Indeed I do. They come in quite handy at the most opportune moments...

Friday, December 7, 2007

Inquiring Minds...



OK -- I shamelessly stole this from Anonyboy, but I don't feel like a complete thief since he admitted to stealing it first.

Would you get back with an ex if you could? Don' really have one...

What kind of shirt are you wearing? Dress shirt and a tie.

Have you made out with anyone on your MySpace list? That would be a yes.

Do you have a "thing" for anyone in your top 8? See above answer.

How many people on your list do you know in real life? Every last one of them, except for the Tom guy.

How many kids do you want to have? None.

Do you have a good relationship with both of your parents? Good relationship with my dad, not so great with my mom.

Do you make over 40K a year? By the skin of my teeth.



Name one song you can relate to right now? "Holding Out For A Hero"

What name would you want to have besides the one you have? not sure, but something tough and sexy

Would you ever make out with someone of the same sex? To quote Anonyboy who: "Of course not! Wait... Hell yes!" -- I can't add anything to that...

What did you do for your last birthday? Went out to dinner with very good friends.

What's your main ringtone on your phone? Just the plain ol ring that come on it. Sounds like an old rotary phone.

What time did you wake up? 5:41. I was painfully aware of the exact moment as I had a slight headache from last evening.

What were you doing at midnight two nights ago? Asleep, like all decent people should be.

How many exes are on your friends list? Thankfully - none.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Holidays are here...


Ok peeps-- I realize I haven't posted in awhile. Things have been busy for me and I have just not had the time to sit at the computer and let the creative juices flow. Plus, THANKFULLY, I have been a relatively drama free zone for some time. However good that may be for me, it doesn't do much for the blog. Yesterday, I was asked to play Santa Claus at a Chirstmas party this week. I have never played Santa and am very excited; however, I humbly realize that I share some less than appealing physical similarities with ol Saint Nick. My dearest friend, the gentle and sweet soul that he is (NOT) said that the idea of me playing Santa was so ripe with things he could say that he didn't know where to begin. I suggested that he not even try. Anyway, tis the season for Christmas parties!!! I LOVE a good Christmas party. One of the parties I'm going to this weekend has a theme of tacky Christmas sweaters. I don't have a tacky sweater, Chirstmas or otherwise and it troubles me that people would assume that I would. People...come on. Also, I have been proud of myself that I have not eaten myself into a sugar coma. I guess I shouldnt be to prideful, as I haven't been to my first Christmas part yet. So with the lack of drama to report or meaningful insights to impart, I offer the following funnies for your entertainment. DISCLAIMER: Please be aware that any jokes I offer are bound to be politically incorrect and have the potential to offend. If you are offended, then my mission is complete...



Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Texan are all working together one day.

They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give each on you one wish, which is three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."

POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.

Osama was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come in our precious land."

POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.

The Texan says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable."

The Texan sits down, cracks a beer, smiles, and says, "Fill it with water."

________________________



The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, “Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?”

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, “First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?”

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, “Uh... no, I didn't know that.”

“Secondly,” says the lawyer, “My brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children.”

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

“Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?”

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, “I'm so sorry, I had no idea.”

And the lawyer says, “So...if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?”

Monday, November 26, 2007

Aftermath of Bird Day...


Nowhere but in the U.S. do we devote a whole day unto gathering around and eating the carcass of a large bird. I certainly put myself into a food coma. God, now I'm back at work. I have always maintained that if you get a short week at work, you WILL pay for in, one way or another. Actually, the day itself was pretty uneventful (though I did have to get out at one point and partake of an adult beverage or four). The next morning I foolishly went willingly to an area of mass commerce in order to make a return. (I bought a belt the night before The Day and STOOPID me did not try it on in the store and was horribly surprised when I discovered that the ends didn't even meet. Damn those stores and their faulty sizing.) I emerged victorious and spent the rest of the day enjoying my company. Later that evening, a friend of mine and I went to see Rent which was in town. I have seen it once and the movie countless times, but she had not so I thought what the hell. I thought it was nearly as good as the first time I had seen it. My friend dropped me off at my favorite night spot to wait for my friend that I fell for (hereafter referred to as HotAss). HotAss was supposed to meet me at the club but while I was at the show, wandered off with and individual of questionable repute (my opinion here). He met me back up there (good thing) as I had no ride and I would have had to kill him despite how fond I have grown of him. We stayed there for awhile and met some people and decided a change of venue was in order. What proceeded was nothing short of a bar tour of Memphis. Much later we decided to get something to eat.



The next day, when I went to work at my low-paying albeit fun part-time job, they told me I looked like hell. I said my friend and I had brunch. Can it still be brunch if it is at CK's Coffee Shop at 3:30 in the morning and you are as drunk as HELL? I say yes. Sounds more reputable. Needless to say, the next day was somewhat difficult to get through. Then I had to go to a tree-trimming party that night which is always a hoot. This year was no exception.

My favorite aunt from Florida was in and we had a nice visit. Except for one reallllllly minor thing that to me isn't so minor. When I was over at my friend's house (we'll call her Undisciplined Dog Lady or UDL... you have NO idea. Really, you don't) for a Christmas tree viewing, I made the comment that after her Golden Retriever got finished attacking me, that I would need to go to the Rape Crisis Center and get checked out. My lovely aunt states WITH ME IN THE ROOM that that is the only sex I have had, that she knows about, but she really doesn't know that much about me. See, I have not come out to her and there is a good reason. I DON'T WANT TO. I hate it when she fishes for clues for clues about my sexuality. The reason I don't want to tell her anything is that she tends to tell me what to do about everything, like she knows what is best for me. That is fine when she is decorating my house as she is a good decorator, but not about the gender of those to whom I am attracted. She would be totally fine with me being gay, but I just don't want her all up in my bidness. I would never hear the end of it. She would want to know every detail and all about who I am seeing or she would try to fix me up with people or God knows what else. Thank you just the same, no.

All that said, I really enjoyed the weekend and I got to see the guy I am kinda interested in...but I think I will leave that for the next post...Now, for a funny...



The Maid asked for a raise:

The Madam was very upset about this and asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want an increase?'

Maria: Well Senora, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you.
Madam: 'Who said you iron better than me?'

Maria: 'The Master said so.'
Madam: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'
Madam: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?'

Maria: 'The Master did.'
Madam: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you.'
Madam (very upset now): 'Did the Master say so as well?'

Maria: 'No Senora, the gardener did.'

SHE GOT THE PAY RAISE..!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Happy Bird Day



I wanted to take a moment and wish all of my blogger friends out there a happy and SAFE Thanksgiving. It has been super fun getting to know some of you and I look forward to sharing more of your lives thru your blogs. I know it's turned into a cliche, but it is always good to think on what we are thankful for. It's all about perspective, people. For me, I have SOOOOOOOOOOOO much for which to be thankful. My friends and family just to name a few. I am alive and well and I don't take that for granted since that unfortunate cardiac event a few years back. Another thing that I am grateful for is that this year I learned I (that would be me - this person sitting here at the keyboard) am actually capable of having feelings for someone. Wow. It has been a good, stressful, eventful, frightening, joyful, frustrating, exhilarating year and I am thankful for it all.



After coming out, I am in a completely different place than I was last year and that is SUCH a good thing. For the first time in my life, if feel as if life is there to be lived and lived to the fullest and although it has taken me almost 40 years, I am truly grateful that I have realized it. I hope you enjoy the time you spend with your family, friends and loved ones. Now, take a moment and be thankful for me and the eye-candy that I so graciously provide for your enjoyment.

Blessings to all...

Monday, November 19, 2007

A Funny ...



It's silly, I know. But I had to share it...



Judge asked prostitute, "So when did you realize you were raped?"


Prostitute replied, wiping her tears, "When the check bounced."

Yoy know it was funny ...

Friday, November 16, 2007

The holidays are here !!!!!


I am so looking forward to the holidays, especially this weekend. Tonite, a couple of friends and myself are going to the Memphis College of Art Holiday Bazaar. The local art college does this once a year around Thanksgiving where students, faculty and alums sell their art. It is really fun -- great art and I always run into people (read cute guys as well as legitimate friends). And then there is the wine. Saturday night, I am going to dinner with a few friends and following that, we are planning to go out to my new favorite hotspot, the new upscale gay bar. My favorite local jazz chanteuse plays on the weekends and I just adore her. She adores me too. I get to sit on the bench beside her as she plays (I just love favoritism, when I am the favorite). God only knows where we will end up after that. Sunday night is the really fun night. For many years now, one of my best friends has a Thanksgiving dinner at her house. FOR FORTY PEOPLE. Yes, 40. Tables are set up, fresh flowers are all over the place. Huge centerpiece on the table. It gets tight with all those people, but that is half the fun. It is very intimate, which is hard to imagine with all those people there, but really, it is. She always holds the dinner on a Sunday night so as not to interfere with everyone's holiday travel plans. We get to see people that we don't get to see all year long, due to hectic schedules, kids and such silliness. For me, this dinner is the kickoff for the holiday season. Also, this one is a little bittersweet as the one that has my heart is moving in a couple of months and this may be his last Thanksgiving dinner with us in Memphis for awhile, depending on whether or not he can get off to come back. My very favorite aunt that lives in Sarasota, Florida is flying into town today for the week. God knows what trouble we can get into or, more accurately, what she will talk me into buying for my house that I don't need nor can afford. I know I sound giddy, but I just love the holidays and am really looking forward to this week. I do have to work Monday - Wednesday, but I don't really mind going into work as so many people take time off and things are a bit more relaxed.



And now for the most important thing. I have made a magical new discovery on HGTV last night. His name is Carter Oosterhouse (sigh) and apparently he has his own show about carpentry. Something tells me he is ... ahem... quite handy. I can certainly think of a few things he could do. Just look at him. I mean take a good look. My goodness gracious...Now, if he would just call me up and ask me to marry him...Hey - a guy can dream.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Today's musing...


I was trying to think of something interesting to post about and I have come to the conclusion that things have gotten pretty much back to normal for me. Unfortunately, normal can mean unintersting. Just recently, one of my dearest friends got out of a disasterous relationship (if you can call it that)...to catch up, read a couple of posts back -- I wont reinvent the wheel here. Suffice to say, that for the moment, we are all drama-free. I was filling another friend in on the lastest events a couple of days ago and we started talking about how hard it is for a guy to find another decent guy out there. I know it happens. I have read about it. I told my friend that got out of the "relationship" that he is not allowed to date anymore. And I was told that I'm not allowed to either. My track record in this area has turned out to be less than stellar. I have discovered that finding freaks is like shooting fish in a barrell -- you just can't miss. So that brings me to my question. Where in hell do I find a good one? Come on people, weigh in. Brad, if you are reading, tell me SPECIFICALLY where in Memphis I should look. Some friends have made the comment that my problem is is that I am finding guys in bars. Well DUH. Unless I am missing something, there is not many other places to meet people, at least in Memphis. Most of our city is extremely consevative, so its not like you can go to church to find someone. I guess mostly I'm getting increasing cynical about what I'm seeing out there. Based on my brief forays into the dating world as well as watching my friend and his fiasco, I'm getting to the point where the first thing I think when I meet someone, or look at them for that matter, is "what is wrong with you?" The way I look at it is that I'm a pretty good guy and I would like to think there is someone out there for me. Oh well, just ranting and being whiney today for lack of better things to do... In the meantime...lets take a look at my future husband. Something tells me he's nice to his mother...

Friday, November 9, 2007

Monday, November 5, 2007

Up-Date



As I mentioned in the previous post, I had a date Friday night. Where to start??? I had a really nice time with K. He is a great conversationalist. We went to a mid-town restaurant and had a perfectly lovely dinner. Following that, we went for drinks to an upscale gay lounge that is new to Memphis. Had a very nice time there. He just passed his boards or something like that to be a masseuse. WOW - what hands. While were in the lounge, he was rubbing my back and neck and I felt like I was in heaven. I swear, with all the wine and neck rubbing, he could have thrown me into the trunk, taken me out in the country and cut me up in a million pieces and I wouldn't have cared less. I was tired because we had been out to a club the night before and I was fading fast, so we called it an early night. Did I mention what a GREAT kisser he is? Slap my ass and call me Judy. Phew... I cannot tell you how perfect the night was.

I will not be going out with him again.



There is ALWAYS a fly in the ointment. I wont bore you with all of this again (read the older posts to find out what happened previously on Dallas) but I was set up on this date by the semi-boyfriend of the guy I fell for this summer (one of my very dearest friends). K was the boyfriend's best friend. Follow that? No? Good. My friends' boyfriend had befriended me when he started dating my friend, presumably as a result of the circumstances of how they met (which involved me getting hurt). I thought this guy was trying to keep me from being hurt any more than I already was. Come to find out, he was saying one thing to me and another to my friend. And when I say one thing, I mean lots and lots of things. In short, he was playing both of us like a fiddle. Until my friend and I started comparing notes and realized that things aren't always as they appear. I think the ex-boyfriend is a complete freak to manipulate both of us the way he did. TOTAL head games. I'm sorry, but if you are dating someone and you want to trash them are you going to do it to your boyfriend's best friend WHILE you are telling the boyfriend that you love him? See what I was dealing with??? I'm still not sure what the reasoning behind all of this was but it no longer matters. My friend nor I want to have anything to do with behavior of this kind. I count myself very fortunate that I still have his friendship after all of this. I heard this stuff and I did not tell him. Which was wrong of me. Very wrong. He was very mad at me when he heard this - understandably so. It shows what a good guy he is that he forgave me.

The next night, we (my friend and I) went dancing and all is well with the world. That is until I woke up with the hangover. As luck would have it, before we went dancing, we went to the same lounge where I had my date, and I left with a telephone number. Let the drama resume...

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Friday night...



Y'all wish me luck. God knows I'm gonna need it. Looks like I have a date Friday night. If you read the post just below the mooning and flashing pumpkins, you will find that the victim will be K. He is sooooooo cute and hot. And nice to boot. I really like this guy and am somewhat nervous, but excited at the same time. And dammit, I HATE the fact that I gained a few pounds in Florida. Damn to hell those wretched french fries and their eternal siren song. Just got a call from a friend of mine and we were talking about the guy that I fell for this summer. She mentioned that he is leaving (as if I would just somehow happen to forget that fact) and that he will be gone before I know it. I hate it when people say things like that. It is just insensitive. I have been dreading that for quite a while now and just because I have come to terms with things does not make the prospect of him leaving any easier because he is still a dear, dear friend. Sorry people, I was just having a moment. Its weird to be so excited about meeting someone new and missing someone already. Of course, if anyone can screw a date up, it will be me. So pray to the date gods that I don't do or say something completely stoopid, as I am wont to do on occasion. (Despite what you may think, I am not a perfect person). As for the eye candy today, let me introduce actor Jamie Bamber. This fetching young man plays Apollo on the SciFi series Battlestar Galactaca. I have not been a viewer of this fine series, but that may have to change as it apparently has some very good things going for it...

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Bitch is Back...


I'M BACK, PEOPLE! Thanks to Brad for giving me the nudge to get off my duff and post again. Vacation was wonderful. It was so nice to get away for a little while and regroup. The weather was...well, hot and humid. It was mostly in the low 90s and sunny. But, hey - that's better than what we had in Memphis while I was gone, from what I hear. I go to Sarasota twice a year for two weeks at a time because my job allows me so much time off (in lieu of an actual paycheck). I will admit that this time down, I got a little bored at times. Turns out, I really missed the Memphis nightlife. Sarasota has only one gay bar, despite the fact that they have more than twice the population that Memphis does. Blows my mind that I actually said something good about Memphis. I spent some time on the beach and have a lovely tan to show for it and I bought a couple pieces of art that I neither needed nor have a place for but for some reason I discovered I would cease to exist if I did not possess them. All in all, I had a very nice time and got to catch up with some friends.

Now for the really fun stuff.

Last week I went out with the boyfriend of the person that I fell for earlier this summer. Not in that way, people - get your minds out of the gutter. We just went to a club after our workout class for some drinks. Turns out, he wanted me to meet his best friend. The friend, whom I shall call K is HOT. Smoldering hot and very nice. Suffice to say, I was smitten. We spent the rest of the evening at the club getting to know each other better. Super kisser is all I'm sayin'.



With Halloween being nigh and all, I went to a party this weekend. Friends For Life, the local Memphis AIDS organization, hosted a huge costume ball at the Fairgrounds. This was my first big gay event to ever go to. WOW...I went as -- do not laugh -- the construction worker from the Village People. I went with a couple of friends, the boyfriend that set me up and K. Turns out, K had to be pretty discreet at this event as his newly exed ex was there. He spent most of the evening with one of the girls that came with us and I was off to explore the candy store, so to speak. However, at one point, the girl danced with me and said that K really liked me and that he was mine for the taking if I wanted him. Nice.

That's when I met C.

C was dancing across from me and is also hot as hell. We danced for a little while (oh, can this boy dance - I mean) and I found out he was with a couple of mutual friends. We seemed to find each other several times during the night. He asked the mutuals if we liked me and I got the stamp of approval (always a good thing). We made out a little on the dance floor and then we went outside for some fresh air. The building we were in exits into a dilapidated amusement park that has since closed down. We walked around there for awhile and he saw our big wooded roller coaster (Elvis' very favorite). He said he would have never gotten on it and I said it was really fun. We had a good time and made out a lot more outside. (I said where IS my Chapstick, bitches?). By the time we got back inside, the party was dying down and my crew had left me (seems to be an emerging theme with this group) but I had my own car so this was not a problem. We went back to the mutual friends' house and hung out there for awhile. I rolled in at about 2:30 - which if you know me, is an absolutely ungodly late hour.

Something else really nice happened at the party as well. I ran into a guy I met a couple of years ago and ... ahem ... "hung out" with him and his partner. He was surprised to see me as I was not out when I met him. I told him I had since come out to almost everyone. He hugged me and said he and his partner were very proud of me and that it was good to see me so happy and that he could tell I was really tormented when he first met me. I have to say, that was one of the most special things that someone has said to me in a long time. He made me feel so good about myself. It was nice and refreshing to discover that there are some people out there that are real, which has not been my experience with the gay community. That alone would have made my night completely worthwhile.



Sunday, the next day, I called C and we hung out all day. We had a long lunch and went downtown to the River Arts Fest late in the afternoon and then we met a couple of friends for dinner and had drinks after. Actually, we drank all afternoon, but that could reflect badly on me, so we will ignore that fact. I really like this guy. He is a breath of fresh air. Kinda like Hurricane Katrina. (He actually did a cartwheel as we crossed the street). The energy...I really enjoyed the time I spent with him and would like to see him again and we planned on lunch this week.

Yesterday, after work, I talked to K for about 45 minutes. This weekend, we are going out. I feel kinda slutty seeing two guys at the same time. A friend said you are only slutty if the clothes come off. That hasn't happened with either one of these, but, Lord its happened plenty times before. The boyfriend who set me up with K said not to worry about it, to go out with both of them and have a good time. He said I was just going thru my gay adolescence (now that I'm almost 40). Interesting turn of events. Seems like every day brings something new and different. Well, believe it or not, that's all for now. I'll keep you posted...

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Life's A Beach...



Well, dear fellow bloggers, I am off on a much needed vacation. Tomorrow morning I am leaving for sunny Florida. My very favorite aunt lives in Sarasota and am fortunate enough to be able to go twice a year for two weeks at a time. It is always so refreshing to leave this hellhole (that being Memphis) and go to a nice, pretty, CLEAN city where the top story on the news isn't who killed who (number 1 in the nation for violent crime) or how corrupt our corrupt mayor is (who was just re-elected last week for a 5th term, despite the fact that 57% of us didn't vote for him). Yes, I go to Sarasota to renew my sense of humanity and realize that there are nice places in this country to live. Plus, after all the drama in my life recently, it will be nice to take a step back and regroup.



Last night, I went to dinner with two very good friends for a celebration of sorts. One year ago last week, my friend ended a 12 year relationship with her partner, which was very hard for her, and that same night, I came out to her. A very tumultuous year is finally over. It's amazing how far we both have come in the span of 365 days. Wow. A year and a week ago, I was securely in the closet, and since that time, I have come out to all my close friends, fell for someone and experienced feeling something that I never knew existed. Even though that didn't work out, I have a much deeper friendship with my friend and for that I am very grateful. The events of this past year have made me feel alive for the first time in my life. Dinner was lovely. We went to a new hotel downtown and had cocktails and listened to a local jazz singer, who has also become a friend, and had dinner at the Daily Grill. Despite the fact that it was pouring rain for most of the night, it was perfect.




Here are a few picture of Sarasota and the beach I will be sitting my fat ass on. Oh, and I can't get by without putting at least one eye candy photo in for y'all.

I'll post when I get back...

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

It's All About Me...



Well, due to a lack of relavent topics to post about, I decided to blatently steal the following concept from a friend's blog. (She did give me permission, so I am not a total thief).

50 Things I Like:

1. good friends
2. lots of wine
3. kissing
4. 4:30 Monday - Friday
5. the smell of lavender
6. reading a book
7. cheese -- ALL kinds
8. the first signs of spring
9. being in the arms of nice man
10. eating at the Dry Dock in Sarsasota, Florida at sunset
11. going to a movie
12. Christmas parties
13. the smell of the surf
14. loosing weight
15. purchasing art
16. the first crocus popping up out of the ice
17. spending time in New York City
18. antique shopping in St. Petersburg, Florida
19. getting away from the city at night and looking at the stars
20. Bosco's beer
21. sleeping late
22. sitting on my front porch with a glass of wine during the rain
23. intimacy
24. getting a tan
25. seeing a dolphin



26. buying clothes
27. Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house
28. finding a rare first edition book
29. getting a card from a friend
30. looking forward to a job I don't hate
31. seeing a good play or musical
32. a good massage
33. listening to classical jazz
34. looking at old photo albums
36. my house when it has just been cleaned
37. drinking at the top of the Hurricane in St. Pete
38. expensive bath products
39. my mattress pad warmer in the dead of winter
40. being creative with interior design
41. the smell of freshly cut grass (especially when it was not me that had to cut it)
42. going to a Memphis Redbirds game with friends and drinking beer
43. walking on a deserted stretch of beach after dark all by myself
44. burning essential oils
45. when someone really understands me
46. Rotel cheese dip (it's my crack)
47. gardenias
48. being able to say "I love you"
49. cool vintage furniture
50. knowing that I have the best friends anyone could ask for



So, that is a little glimpse into moi. Let me hear from you dear readers as to what makes you happy...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Vanity Fair

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. It has kind of been hard with all that has gone on with me lately. I think things may have finally settled down for awhile, which is way good for me. I have been able to maintain my friendship with the person I wrote about in the previous post and while it is different, it is deeper and it is good. I consider myself very fortunate to have him as a friend. Also, I have been on two dates with a really nice guy. I don't know where it will go, but I am taking the advice that has been given me and am just having fun right now with no expectations. In a couple of weeks, I FINALLY get to get away for a little while. I will be going to Sarasota, Florida for two weeks. My favorite aunt lives there and I get to spend a lot of time down there in the spring and fall. It will be so nice to get away from my soul-sucking job for a little while and sit on the beach and be refreshed by the surf. This is the place I want to move to when I retire in 12 years. (I know it seems like a long time, but it really is not). Memphis is a cesspool of crime, corrupt politics and horrible race relations. Bad thing is, it will never get any better. I have a few friends down in Sarasota and it is hard to explain, but I really feel like I am home when I am there -- even more so than being in Memphis.



Memphis holds an annual Fair in the fall. I went last night with some friends and had a ball. Ate all manner of things that were not good for us. But we justified it by going to exercise class right before. Personally, I didn't eat as much as one particular, above-mentioned individual did. He ate everything in sight. This place has fried Oreos, turkey legs and fiddle-sticks. If it can die or fry, they have it. I tasted some fried pickles that were so good they would make you slap yo mama. And of course, there was the obligatory beer. Following the Fair, we went to a local restaurant called the Beauty Shop for drinks. This actually was an old beauty shop and you can sit under the old hair dryers and eat. It is very chic and trendy. Oh, I saw the HOTTEST guy in the whole world in there. He is a bartender at another restaurant in Memphis owned by the same woman that owns Beauty Shop. Last week, he talked to me for awhile when it was slow at the bar and he came over and said hello to me. Believe me when I say that I could give up my absolute last strand of moral fiber that I possess for this one. Alas, he is married - the wife was with him. (sigh) All in all, we had a really good time. It is nice to finally have some stability back. But knowing me, who knows how long that will last...

Thursday, September 13, 2007

I'm Back


Sorry for my absence in posting for so long...I have had a lot of drama and trauma lately. I believe it has all worked itself out for the best. Long story short, right after I came out, I fell for one of my best friends. Hard. He didn't feel the same way about me. I let my feelings run away with me and, very recently, I was forced to get them under control and deal with them. I have learned and am learning that is a hard thing to do but it is doable. I am very fortunate in that I have the very best friends a guy could ever hope to have, thankfully, which still includes the friend that I fell for. My friends have listened to me and held me when I cried. Growth can be a difficult thing, but it is worth it. The fact that I can write that last sentence says a whole hell of a lot considering where I have just come from. So...I am back ... with a vengeance.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Friday, August 31, 2007

It's Labor Day, Bitches!


The King of Useless Information is back. Have you ever wondered about the history of Labor Day. God, I sure haven't. I don't look a gift horse in the mouth. All I care about is I don't have to go to my soul-sucking job for a day. But for all you inquiring minds who want to know...from Wikepedia:

Labor Day is has been celebrated on the first Monday in September in the United States since the 1880s. The form that the observance and celebration of Labor Day should take were outlined in the first proposal of the holiday — a street parade to exhibit to the public "the strength and esprit de corps of the trade and labor organizations" of the community, followed by a festival for the recreation and amusement of the workers and their families. This became the pattern for the celebrations of Labor Day. Speeches by prominent men and women were introduced later, as more emphasis was placed upon the economic and civic significance of the holiday. Still later, by a resolution of the American Federation of Labor convention of 1909, the Sunday preceding Labor Day was adopted as Labor Sunday and dedicated to the spiritual and educational aspects of the labor movement.

And there you have it. Everyone enjoy the weekend and have a safe holiday...

Monday, August 27, 2007

The King of Useless Information

Last night I was told by one of my surly friends that I know way too much useless information. I know more...

Many years ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented.

It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"....and thus the word GOLF
entered into the English language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and
Wilma Flintstone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coca-Cola was originally green.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



It is impossible to lick your elbow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% ( now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

> > >> Spades - King David

> > >> Hearts - Charlemagne

> > >> Clubs -Alexander, the Great

> > >> Diamonds - Julius Caesar

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the
air,

the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of

wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died

of natural causes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,

John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but
the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Most boat owners name their boats.

What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
printers all have in common?

A. All invented by women.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When
you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to
sleep on. Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was
lunar based, this period was called the honey month...which we know today as
the honeymoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.. So in old England,
when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints
and quarts, and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and
Q's."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim,
or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by
this practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Beware! Blogger Messed Up...

I just posted, but for some reason Blogger put it further down in the posts. Scroll below to Might As Well Be Sex and the City...

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Here's to You, New York, New York....



Well peeps, I just spent the most fabulous weekend in New York and all I can say is WOW. Is is possible to fall in love with a city? It must be because I cherish every moment I am able to spend in the Big Apple. I went up for a friend's 40th birthday. All of us live in luuuuuuuvley Memphis and decided to make a long weekend of it. One thing that made this weekend really nice was that we had no plans. Now those of you that know me know that I am the ULTIMATE planner. (Some haters have slandered me as a control freak, but I think they're jealous of my superior organizational skills.) I must say however, it was really nice not to know where we were going or what was going to happen. Spontaniety, people - taht's what I'm all about. We spent a lot of time wandering SoHo and Greenwich Village, just looking around. My friends spent tons of money. Me being the poor red-headed stepchild that I am, was unable to purchase several shirts at a hundred bucks a pop. But that's ok. The Village was especially fun as I had not spent much time there at all and got to see a completely different side of the city. One night we went to have drinks at the Oriental Mandarian Hotel in the Time Warner Center. This is the most expensive hotel in the city. Rooms start at $2500.00 a night (or so I'm told). The kicker is that the lobby is on the 35th floor overlooking Central Park and Central Park South. One of the best money shots in the city. We had quite expensive cocktails and some h'or doerves that we didn't order. But it was spectacular to see the city go from dusk to darkness. Two completely different views, each one awe inspiring.



However, it was two other things that really made this trip stand out. One was that we went to Tony and Tina's Wedding. Now, I don't know how many of you have been to this - but let me just say it is a HOOT. It's an off-Broadway show that is more interactive than just a show you go and watch. You are actual guests at this wedding party and reception. It is My Big Fat Greek Wedding meets the Sopranos. Compeletely over the top. They feed you dinner, wedding cake and champagne. And as the evening wears on, the "family" drinks more and the reception disintergrates. Fights start. One girl starts stripping. They will come to your table and gossip with you about the other family members. I especially enjoyed it when the absolutely burning hot gay brother of the bride came and danced with me. Apparently, this show has been around for 20 years, but I had never heard of it. Also, I am told it travels - so if it comes to your city, most definately go see it. If you allow yourself to really get into it you will have more fun than you can shake a stick at.

The other thing that really stands out is that my 40 year old friend and I frequented a few gay bars. And I made a friend. A firefighter from Queens. How sexy is that I ask you. And I will tell you -- very.



My weekend was WAYYYYYYY too short. But the city was perfection and the company I kept was priceless. I will soon post some of my photos up and soon as I (the non-computer geek) can figure out how to do so...In the meantine, yall will have to settle for these...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

A GREAT BIG THANK YOU

I just wanted to take a minute and say thank you and how much I appreciate all the kind responses to my post about my poor choices in picking men as of late (see "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?"). It's people like you that make me really glad I finally came out...

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

What A Weekend!




One of my dearest friends had his 40th birthday this past Friday night. Wow. I don't think I still have fully recovered. We started off by going to his parents house for grilled hamburgers. A lot of his friends were there. Perfectly lovey time. We then went to a bar called Barbie's to sing karaoke (I'm not sure how that's spelled). Barbie's is housed in what was in another lifetime a Pizza Hut. Now it is located in a less than savory part of town (but considering this is Memphis, the entire city has become less than savory). In short, we had a BLAST! You cannot get me drunk enough to sing karaoke, but it is such a hoot to watch others do it. I remember looking around at the people there thinking that I hope my 40th birthday is just as special and thinking what a lucky bastard he is to have such good friends. After everyone went home, I being the good designated driver and friend that I am, took my friend around on the Memphis Gay Bar Tour. We had a lot of fun and closed down the last bar at 3 am. I am very thankful that I got to spend that quality time with him. I was thankful for that up until I had to go work at my part-time job Saturday and attempt to function with literally no sleep.

This will probably be my last post this week as we are headed to New York City on Thursday. To me NYC is like crack. I just can't get enough of it (Please don't take from that that I take crack - just an expression). I can't wait. With my job being as awful as it is, I have to get away every so often and this time I'm really feeling it bad. So glad to be getting out of Memphis. I will post again next week about what all we did. I imagine it will entail a lot of drinking...I wonder if I should go ahead and make my reservations at Betty Ford...

Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

Well, I had a most interesting evening, last night. As a few of you are aware, I went out on my first bona-fide, real-live date with a man about three weeks ago now. It was perfectly lovely and I had a lovely time. I should have known then that something was very wrong. I had been trying to get together with said individual for a couple of weeks now with little success. There was always some reason or the other that he couldn't (read: wouldn't) want to see me. We were supposed to get together last night but he cancelled on me. Did he call and cancel, he asks? Nooooo -- that would have been the proper thing to do. No - I call him for directions and then he says he can't meet me but that we can do it the next night when I'm free. Ummmm Hummmm.....



Since I was unceremoniously ditched, I decided to take my pity party to the local gay watering hole. It was there that I bumped into an individual (not the date guy -- someone different) that I had met last Friday night at another establishment of ill-repute. Suffice to say that when I met this guy last week he was so drunk that it was amazing he could stand up. He became quite amorous with myself and my friend at the same time. Not a problem for me. It is what it is (or was, in this case). Back to the bar last night -- he comes in and barely remembers me, and does not remember my friend at all. I'm thinking, yeah - he was pretty polluted. He chats and has a couple of beers and leaves. The dude sitting next to me is a bartender at another bar and knows pretty much everybody. He asked what line this guy was feeding me. I said he wasn't giving me a line and told the story about him being drunk last Friday night. Dude said he wasn't drunk, that he was high on pills. Good Lord. It made sense. Glazed look, didn't smell alcohol. My friend said he thought I knew about this guy. Of course I didn't ... being recently out and all, I don't know all the dish on everyone. I'm still green as grass.

So, my friend asks me why I'm out and about during the week, as is usually not normal behavior for me. I said I had been stood up. By who? Didn't want to say as he is probably known. I said. My friend came off the barstool. "You need to stay the HELL away from him!!!" My God, why? Apparently, he has some pretty bad non-legal pharmaceutical issues that have plagued him for some time. I believe the phrase was "chemically unpure". I was told there is only one bar in town that will let him in anymore. I was told to run for my life and that I have realllllllly bad taste in men. Well, no shit, Sherlock. Dude then calls the bartender over to verify his story. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the worst) how bad was date guy? 15, and he didn't even blink. My friend purchased me a liquid hug and said I was growing up. Which brings me to the point here...I said I just went out with him because he was pretty to which dude replied, "He is pretty...pretty fucked up... and you're pretty too... pretty naive". Point well taken. Thank God I had an angel looking over my shoulder last night that saved me a whole lotta trouble.




But I got to thinking, the only reason I was attracted to both guys in the first place is because of their looks. Which is common. I mean, why are we attracted to anyone. Initially, it is their looks that hook us at the word go and we discover who they really are after that. I found out who these guys were and I don't want any part of that crap. But that kind of makes me gun shy at this point. I seem to have found two real winners in a row. Is this all I have to look forward to during my journey through queerdom? Is there anybody out there with substance and not a substance abuse problem? I have been told the gay community is as shallow as a frying pan, but I honestly thought that I could maneuver it better than this and at least recognize people for what they are. Or at least I thought so. Is this sort of thing going to happen over and over or is there someone out there that might somehow, possibly be good for me? I think I would just settle for an arranged marriage...Anyone got a hot man you're looking to marry off??

Might as well be Sex and the City...

Book report time again, bitches. I tell you, I just got finished reading one of the most fun books I have read in a long, long time. Tales of the City by Armisted Maupin. I realize that I may be the last living person on the face of the earth to read this book. It was written in 1978 as a serial in whatever the San Fransisco paper is and has spawned 6 sequels. The story centers around a young woman vacationing in SF and, on the spur of the moment, decides to move there. She rents a room from a woman who is a landlady in an apartment building. What follows is pure literary magic.



The chapters are very short, only a couple of pages each, and the entire book is mostly dialog driven. If you're looking for long epic prose, this ain't it, babycakes. But, it is very readable and a very quick read. I will admit it took me about halfway through the book to get hooked, but once it happened, I could not put it down. I would read it at breakfast, on my lunch hour and in bed at night (on those few nights when no one else was joining me -- wink, wink). There are a lot of characters who are very diverse in their backgrounds (gay, straight, inter-racial) but are all connected. And it will blow you away how the connections are made. There are a couple of gut-punch moments that will almost take your breath away. Of course, now I have had to run out and get the first of the sequels, entitled imaginatively enough More Tales of the City, closely followed by ... wait for it ... Further Tales of the City.

Don't let the titles fool you. They are really fun, light summer reads. It is kind of like a time capsule, as the setting is the late 1970's SF before cell phones and fax machines and all our technological shit that was supposed to make our life better, but has somehow managed to complicate it more. But you do kind of forget that the setting isn't the present. There is a lot of sex (not graphic) and rampant drug use, which we all know has absolutely no correlation in the gay community at all. This was pre-AIDS time; however, I believe some of the subsequent books deal with some of the characters becoming positive.



Having done a little research on the book and the author, I was amazed to discover how popular this book has become over the last 30 years. Back in the early 80s, PBS aired a mini-series of the book that apparently was highly controversial at the time as it was the first time that two homosexuals were shown kissing on television. From what I read about the mini-series, it was critically acclaimed and popular as well. It is now in my Netflix queue. If you are looking for something to read and are one of those people like me who have been living under a rock and haven't read it, give it a try. I think it will be a fun and rewarding read. Now, I wish I could read it at work...
 

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