Thursday, May 31, 2007

If we are what we eat...then I'm cheap, fast and easy



I'm about to become one real mean bitch. For those of you smartasses out there who know me that might be tempted to say something along the lines of "how will we know the difference?" -- be forewarned. You don't know mean till you've messed with a bitch on a diet. You will not win. I have recently discovered the answer to the question posted on that cute little refrigerator magnet: "Does my fat ass make my ass look fat?" It has been my recent experience that the answer is a great big YES. And it aint nobody's fault but my own. That food did not force itself upon me like a rapist on a college campus. I shoveled it in hand over fist. Nice thing about being of the male persuasion is that you can loose weight almost without trying...if you give up alcohol. Make no mistake, the nectar of the gods is the glue that holds my 'verse together. However, I can deal with that for a month so I can look like the guys in these photos and make the boys cry.

All this diet talk is a round-about way of getting to the real point (and yes, there is one): Why is it that guys, most especially gay guys, are obsessed with image, looks and weight? The quick and easy answer is that we have been programmed that way by Madison Ave. in order to separate us from our money. True enough. But that can be said about the straight community as well. I guess what I am getting at is why has the gay community bought into it with such religious fervor? I ponder this, because, having recently come out and began going out, I have noticed that this whole image thing is, apparently, a big damn deal.

Recently, I went out to a club with a good friend of mine which provided and excellent viewing opportunity for the subject at hand. It is just plain interesting to examine the young gay male as he frolics hither and yon in his natural habitat. I fully realize that everyone wants to look good and wear great clothes (we're gay, after all - not dead). But what I want to focus on is the next level down. When someone always looks too perfect or is always wearing the just-too-perfect clothes, for me, red flags go up. What is this person really saying with his image? I could be wrong, but he doesn't appear to be screaming "Yes, I'm perfectly comfortable with who I am". Especially when he hangs out in a pack and audibly criticizes the looks and/or attire of others nearby. George Michael once sang long ago that "sometimes the clothes do not make the man". If that is true, what does it say about all the Abercrombie & Fitch clones running amok on any given night? Are they being true to themselves or are they searching for meaning and happiness in something that cannot, nor has ever been able to deliver? Or are they too afraid to look within and see that image is just that - an image? I certainly don't want to be judgemental here. I have been guilty of the very same thing -- wanting to fit in at all costs AND in a "straight" world which is even more hypocritical. The good news is that for most of these young men, there is hope. Age will simply take care of a lot of this. As one (read I) who is approaching middle-age (who am I kidding...I'm here and I'm queer) you start looking at things in a different light. No jokes about the eyes going. The upside is that I have seen a lot of middle aged gay men in great, lasting relationships that are obviously built on more than just looks alone. Age does make it a little easier to look beyond the image and see what is really there -- what really matters in life and relationships. Now, to suppliment my sermon on the superficial...you get two hotties for the price of one. Yea !!!!!

4 comments:

Brad said...

This is the reason I seldom go out anymore. It always makes me feel so. damned. old.

The best way to crush one's self esteem is a Saturday night at "Backstreet".

Gumby said...

great post. I had a friend who refused to date anyone who wore tennis shoes to the bars. or redheads or blonds. or people with less than perfect feet. his complete and total superficiality is one of the reasons we no longer hang out together. keep being real - you'll thank yourself in the long run.

dykewife said...

superficiality seems to be, for the most part, an affliction of the young. that isn't to say there aren't superficial older folk, but the young seem to be able to squander quality for quantity with greater abandon. perhaps it's the energy of youth that influences things.

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