Date Night...

Well, it is a couple of weeks later and I still haven't scared New Guy off as of yet. Tonite we are going on our first real date (not counting beers at a local gay bar). It is fairly difficult for him to get off work to go out as he works two full time jobs. It is still WAY too early to tell if this will work out or not. I have never been in a relationship before and the chances are huge that I will fuck it up somehow. Add to the fact that we really don't know each other. I like what I know so far, but we have only known each other a couple of weeks. Honestly, how much of that is "knowing" someone and how much is pure animal lust? I thought so... So we shall see what we shall see. Far as I know, I really like hanging around him and I think he feels the same. I'm not at all nervous about going out tonite - actually, I'm looking forward to it - but at the same time, my short history with the sterling gents of Memphis has left me a bit cynical and jaded. I can't help but wonder what's wrong with him. I saw him a couple of times this weekend and that went real good.



Speaking of the sterling gents of Memphis, I bumped into the first guy that ever asked me out. I was at the bar where New Guy works and in he walks. I thought awwwwwwww--shitshitshitshitfuckdamnfuckingshit. Almost a year ago, I went out with this guy against the better advice of good gay bartenders everywhere. They were all unanimous in their advice of STAY THE HELL AWAY. Did I heed their advice??? Are Baptists open-minded? Hell no I didn't stay away. Much drama ensued as a result. He is one of those that is all about the chase and I fell right into it. Apparently he enjoys head games and has probably won a gold medal in the Head Olympics for them. The last time we went out in September, he had already started playing games and tried to corner me into a relationship and when I said that wasn't happening he started crying (crocodile tears). I remember going to pay the bar bill and he just got up and walked out - no good bye, nothing -- just left. I took this as a ploy for me to chase after him. Hell no -- good riddance. The other night, when he saw me, he came over to where I was by the bar and slopped sugar all over me and wanted to know how I was and all that crap. (It's a wonder I didn't throw up on him). Later when his friend had gone somewhere, I said its been a long time since I have seen you...I also said if memory serves correctly, that he walked out on me the last time I saw him. He admitted to doing so. Naturally, I inquired as to why and he said I was all hung up on my best friend (all up in his ass were his exact words, I believe) as he looked at me like he were trying to bore holes in steel. I calmly said that if my friend is nothing more than my best friend, then I am extremely fortunate as I know he cares about me and that he would not do anything to hurt me --two things I could say never say about him. Long, hard stare again. He said he hoped I found what I was looking for and he meant that with respect. I stared back just as hard and said thank you and I mean that with respect and I turned and walked out. I was quite proud of myself that night if I do say so. I knew one day that encounter was coming. Bad thing is, he is just so damned good looking and I am a sucker for a good looking guy and tend to cave. But I persevered in the face of adversity and overcame.



So, tonite is the night and we will see how it goes... Will post more later...