Back to Memphis...

I'm back!!! And not too happy about it if the truth be known...Why would I want to come back to someplace as crime-ridden and corrupt as Memphis when I can be at tropical points south??? The answer: I don't. But I had a wonderful time as some of the pictures suggest. I gained more than a couple of pounds down there. Food was excellent and besides, fat looks better tan. I was able to catch up with some friends and made some new ones (wink, wink). One of my friends suggested that I go to Lido Key to go to the beach rather than my regular haunt of Siesta Key. I never was much for Lido as I found it not as pretty as Siesta. My friend told me this was the gay beach. It also used to be a nude beach in days past. I'm told some people that frequent there didn't get the memo and still visit sans clothing. Well, slap my ass and call me Judy. A dear friend of mine (one might not think he is by the way he treats me) said I ought to go nude. Bitch, please. I know when to keep things covered. He said everyone at nude beaches would look as bad as I do and that if I kept gaining weight, no one could even tell I was nude. Such a stitch he is... Then next day I hauled my apparently fat ass up to Lido Beach, met a nice guy and got asked out. Can you believe it? AND the best part is, he is a neurosurgeon!!! Lives in the Hamptons, practices in New York, 6 condos in Sarasota, big-ass house on Longboat Key and another presumably big-ass house in Big Sky, Montana. And he wanted to go out with me. I did and we had a lovely time. (Get your minds out of the gutter, people). He was very nice and wants to see me again. Actually, he wants to fly me down in August when he is coming back. I'll have to see.



I frequented the local gay bar in Sarasota when I could. They only have one, which is pathetic considering the huge gay population there. Hell, Memphis has at least six... Anyway, I met a couple of guys there last Saturday night that were fun and I was hit on by a Cuban man that was most proud to tell me that he came to the United States from Cuba 2 years before Batista was overthrown. Now if we are all up on our Cuban history, we would realize that he came here in 1957. That would put him in his early 70s. A piece of living history. I resisted the urge to ask what Havana was like in the fifties as I thought it might encourage him to further conversation with me. I'm considerate that way.



Other than that, the trip was most relaxing considering the amount of alcohol that was consumed. I rented a Kia Sportage when I got there because of the criminally insane gas prices and the fact that my aunt has a monster of a van that slurps gas like an anteater eats...well, ants. Great little car...I highly recommend it if you have to rent.



While I was gone, the great Tim Russert passed on as did the beautiful and talented Cyd Charise. Two great losses.




But alas, all good things must come to an end... Now I can start daydreaming about my next two weeks down ... which should be in October.



Oh, yeah -- how could I forget this...

A MUCH Needed Vacation...

Well bitches, it is time I take a short break. No - it's past time. Way past time. For the next two weeks, I will be sitting on my considerable derriere in Sunny South Florida. Sarasota, Florida to be exact. My favorite aunt lives there so I have squatters rights on the digs. I get to sit my fat ass on a beach for two weeks, do you hear a sista? I probably will not be around a computer much during that time, so I may not blog. But I will report back as soon as I come home. Y'all try to behave (that means Brad and CB) I will enjoy catching up on your blogs when I get back or if I can snag a computer down there. Meantime, here are a few pics of Sarasota to make you all absolutely pea-green with envy...(don't hate)














Oh, and one other thing. I wish I could find one or two of these while I'm down here. I'll have to work on that...

Take Me Out to the Ball Game...

Another wild weekend has passed us by. One of my best friends and I decided to go to the Memphis Redbirds game this past Saturday night. I am doing something a bit different here and instead of posting delicious, gratitious pics of devestatingly hot men, I thought I would share a few pics from the weekend... If none of you have ever had the ... ahem...pleasure of being in Memphis (I can almost say it with a straight face) you will realize the leaders that be in this city have FINALLY done something right with Redburd Stadium. The weather was GLORIOUS. It was warm without being too hot and we were getting the breeze from the river. The beer was even better. Below are some pics from the game....













Of course you know, I am someone to always find something that I like in EVERY situation. Sports are no different. See below a priceless moment in baseball.












(I have always been a firm believer in the benefits of proper stretching techinque...)

Anyhoo - after the game, my friend and I scooted on over to the Peabody Hotel where it is widely known that the lobby of the hotel is the beginning of the Mississippi Delta. We went up to the roof and decided to do a little sightseeing in our own city. I have discovered that from above, looking down, Memphis almost seems like a decent place to live...A few more pics...






Below is the Skyway Room at the top of the Peabody -- this is my very favorite room in the city. You can just feel the years turning back as you enter this gem. I always wonder what it would be like dancing up here in the 1950s. Champagne glasses. Girls with white golves. The next picture is a watercolor that hangs on the wall of how the room once appeared. I so much love this painting that if it were not bolted to the wall... uh...where were we??






As it turns out, our evening is not without a moral (I'm talking about the evening, not me). Said friend and myself decided to ponder our dinner destination over a cocktail at the Corner Bar in the Peabody that is situated ... um ... in the corner of the Peabody. As we were seated, all non-judgementally at the bar, we noticed a couple making out like there was no tomorrow. A middle-aged couple at that. Can you say EWWWWWWWW??? I certainly did. Then I hear somthing, like eyeglasses hit the ground. Chick picks them up and starts crying. I'm thinking "For the love of God, why can't people act right." Then middle-aged dude gets up and starts stumbling like CRAZY -- I'm talking knocking chairs over and wine spashing everywhere. He finally falls into a loveseat and hits his head on the wall. Meantime, people are running up to them from all over trying to help. The woman (this is priceless) does not check on the condition of her husband's skull, rather she takes the wine glass out of his hand and pours whats left of the wine into her glass. She had her priorities right. Then she collapses into the arms of the cocktail waitress and starts sobbing uncontrollably. At this point we absolutely have to know what is going on, nosy things that we are. What we discovered was quite disturbing. The couple is from Califoria and told the waitress that a month ago their daughtere ODed on something or other and since then two of her remaining three children tried to commit suicide becuase they were so distraught over the death of their sister. Wow. We both sat back back down and took a moment or two. So we have learned not to judge someone until we have been in their shoes...Something not to forget, and yet we all do as we are merely human.

And to think that I got thru this post without even one hot, sweaty man pic... Nawwww - I just couldn't -- he ya go...

My Top 40

After long and careful consideration, what follows is essentially my perfect list of the "most doable" men ever. These are the ones, in order, that simply do it for me... Not to say the list wont change in the future, but for the time being, these really, really, really push my buttons... (OK - The names don't quite match the pics, but do your best...)

1. Ryan Reynolds













2. Tim McGraw



















3. Jason Statham


















4. Colton Ford




















5. Jeremy Piven
























6. Tom Chase
7. Dave Annabele
8. Colin Ferrell
9. Chris Evans
10. Chris Cagle
11. Gabriel Macht
12. Christian Bale
13. Antonion Sabatio, Jr.
14. George Cloony
15. Andy Roddick
16. Billy Currington
17. Jamie Bamber
18. Andy Roddick
19. Paul Walker
20. Scott Caan
21. Aaron Eckhart
22. Dermot Mulroney
23. Rupert Everett
24. Jude Law
25. Tom Brady
26. Ricky Martin
27. Christopher Gorham
28. Balthazar Getty
29. Scott Speedman
30. Ryan Gosling
31. Gerard Butler
32. Gavin Rossdale
33. Deirks Bently
34. Billy Crudup
35. Nick Lachey
36. James Franco
37. Eric Maibus
38. Jesse Metcalf
39. Patrick Dempsey
40. Hugh Jackman

Jones v. Jones

I had a request from CB over at Mangina Monologues (who, btw, is a TOTAL hottie) to give my opinion of the new Indiana Jones movie. I know a lot of people out there will disagree with me, but I kinda liked it. I know it wasn't Raiders, but I thought it had the general feel of the old movies. The one thing that I didn't like, however, was all the CGI stuff. AND the nuclear explosion thing went a bit far, even for Indy. Are you telling me that a 1950's refrigerator will keep you alive from a direct hit from a 50 megaton thermonuclear bomb? Bitch, please... A lot of people didn't like the sci-fi angle. I did like it. I thought it very well paid homage to the period of time in which the film was set. All those UFO movies were essentially reflecting the fear that Americans felt about communism and their very well-grounded fear at the time of the Soviets and the proliferation of nuclear weapons. I enjoyed the action and appreciated the fact that an effort was made to kind of make it like the original and use more "real people" action rather than go totally CGI, like the new Star Wars flix. I thought that Karen Allen was totally wasted in the film, though. It was almost as if her role were an afterthought. Just so Speilberg could say ... "Look -- we got the original girl back. Now what do we do with her?" All in all, I found it fun and a good escape for a couple of hours.



On the other hand we have Sex. Words escape me. Almost. This was one of the most satisfying movies I have seen in awhile. My girls are back!!! The movie was such a welcome relief for me from the final season of the show which I liked the least and found to be very dark as far as where the relationships were taken. I was concerned that it would not translate well into film after existing solely as a half-hour serial. It came off much better than I had anticipated. All the magic and charm was there. And just like the show, it threw in a few surprises, especially in character development that I wasn't expecting. What was really a hoot was the audience. Every girl, woman, or tranny in Memphis was out Friday night DIVAED out, do you hear me? Every broad there had her jewelry, heels and face on. AND standing in line, to boot. It was like Star Wars for girls. Ahhhh - as the movie poster says..."To be Carried away again..." My best friend has been vicious in deriding me because I went to go see it. He said there was no way he was going to go see a movie about 4 sluts. I said that works out just fine, because no one was asking him to go. Can't wait to go see it again...and then get the DVD...(sigh)



And on top of the greatness of the movie, I had a date this weekend. He's a really hot guy I met last week. As luck would have it, I managed to introduce him to a couple of my good friends. It was said that he is one good looking kid. KID?? KID, you say??? He is 5 years older than me. AND to add insult to injury, she said she thought he looked 10 years younger than ME. OUCH!!! No matter how flattering that is to him...OUCH!!! I'm still tender from that remark. I bet he didn't realize he was out with Methuselah. But we had a great time. Too bad he is moving in a month.