Foot In Mouth Disease

This past Saturday night, in an attempt recover from my unfortunate discovery about the fake neurologist, a few friends of mine and I went to a particularly nice Italian restaurant in East Memphis for dinner. One friend in particular I had not seen in quite some time, came in and sat down next to me at the bar. I shit thee not - she had not been sitting next to me for one minute when I said "You got your haircut. And you have a mullet." Of course, she does not have a mullet. I just saw that the back of her hair was straight and from that angle that's what it resembled. Further inspection revealed that she did not, in fact, have a mullet. Her haircut was actually very nice. But, alas, the damage was done. She was shocked and appalled that I would even consider that she had a mullet. I don't know why things like this just seem to jump out of my mouth. This is not the first time something like this has happened and more than likely, it wont be the last. I was duly mortified and apologized like the dog I am, but I still don't think I'm in the clear. On top of that, another friend called my to say that she and the offended went to have a couple of beers to help her get thru her hard time. What hard time, I ask innocently. Being accused of having a mullet, was the reply. I have a feeling this one will be hard to live down. The general consensus amongst the privileged few is ... "well, that's just him." I hate that -- the implication being that I'm autistic or something when the truth is I just don't think before I speak. In my defense however, I can think of numerous occasions when there must have been divine intervention keeping my trap shut that could have resulted in very real and lasting damage. Get out the duct tape, peeps. You never know what is going to come out of this mouth...but you can bet you sweet,twinky gay asses its gonna to be low-down and dirty ... :-)