Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

Well, I had a most interesting evening, last night. As a few of you are aware, I went out on my first bona-fide, real-live date with a man about three weeks ago now. It was perfectly lovely and I had a lovely time. I should have known then that something was very wrong. I had been trying to get together with said individual for a couple of weeks now with little success. There was always some reason or the other that he couldn't (read: wouldn't) want to see me. We were supposed to get together last night but he cancelled on me. Did he call and cancel, he asks? Nooooo -- that would have been the proper thing to do. No - I call him for directions and then he says he can't meet me but that we can do it the next night when I'm free. Ummmm Hummmm.....



Since I was unceremoniously ditched, I decided to take my pity party to the local gay watering hole. It was there that I bumped into an individual (not the date guy -- someone different) that I had met last Friday night at another establishment of ill-repute. Suffice to say that when I met this guy last week he was so drunk that it was amazing he could stand up. He became quite amorous with myself and my friend at the same time. Not a problem for me. It is what it is (or was, in this case). Back to the bar last night -- he comes in and barely remembers me, and does not remember my friend at all. I'm thinking, yeah - he was pretty polluted. He chats and has a couple of beers and leaves. The dude sitting next to me is a bartender at another bar and knows pretty much everybody. He asked what line this guy was feeding me. I said he wasn't giving me a line and told the story about him being drunk last Friday night. Dude said he wasn't drunk, that he was high on pills. Good Lord. It made sense. Glazed look, didn't smell alcohol. My friend said he thought I knew about this guy. Of course I didn't ... being recently out and all, I don't know all the dish on everyone. I'm still green as grass.

So, my friend asks me why I'm out and about during the week, as is usually not normal behavior for me. I said I had been stood up. By who? Didn't want to say as he is probably known. I said. My friend came off the barstool. "You need to stay the HELL away from him!!!" My God, why? Apparently, he has some pretty bad non-legal pharmaceutical issues that have plagued him for some time. I believe the phrase was "chemically unpure". I was told there is only one bar in town that will let him in anymore. I was told to run for my life and that I have realllllllly bad taste in men. Well, no shit, Sherlock. Dude then calls the bartender over to verify his story. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the worst) how bad was date guy? 15, and he didn't even blink. My friend purchased me a liquid hug and said I was growing up. Which brings me to the point here...I said I just went out with him because he was pretty to which dude replied, "He is pretty...pretty fucked up... and you're pretty too... pretty naive". Point well taken. Thank God I had an angel looking over my shoulder last night that saved me a whole lotta trouble.




But I got to thinking, the only reason I was attracted to both guys in the first place is because of their looks. Which is common. I mean, why are we attracted to anyone. Initially, it is their looks that hook us at the word go and we discover who they really are after that. I found out who these guys were and I don't want any part of that crap. But that kind of makes me gun shy at this point. I seem to have found two real winners in a row. Is this all I have to look forward to during my journey through queerdom? Is there anybody out there with substance and not a substance abuse problem? I have been told the gay community is as shallow as a frying pan, but I honestly thought that I could maneuver it better than this and at least recognize people for what they are. Or at least I thought so. Is this sort of thing going to happen over and over or is there someone out there that might somehow, possibly be good for me? I think I would just settle for an arranged marriage...Anyone got a hot man you're looking to marry off??

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Poor Guy

Anonymous said...

CT,
I guess this new territory you are in is not as easy to read as you thought. just stick to the girls bars like you did that one night. they always know the best gay men anyway, and they'll take care of you. Or maybe you should stick with friends of neighbors.... M and C??

Anonymous said...

I just realized I can do this all day long and you cant't tell who I am.....hmmm.

Kelly said...

Don't be sad or upset... just keep going... seriously, you have to get a feel for things...dont look to settle down just yet... have fun and meet people... you will weed out the freaks, make some good friendsn and sooner or later love will just all in your lap,.... in other words... have a cocktail and dont expect to fall in love soon.... let it happen on its own... smooches

Pomoprophet said...

thanks for stopping by and letting me know you're around! :)

Kevbear said...

Meandered over from Kelly's site and read your page from the bottom up...hmmmm that could work... anyways got to the first date story and thought ohnoooo run boy run
As I've been hitched about a dozen or so years now the datings been done forever but most of my 1st dates ended in wild sex, call me a prude...
You cannot count the looser dates (after the sex) that become friends as the years roll. Kelly is right take your time, enjoy the ride, life is a banquet sample the treats and stay on the diet.
My sweetie didn't show up until I was 40 and it was worth the wait.
Cheers, Kevin

Scotty said...

damn dude...you ahve some shitty luck in the men department! don't give up hope though.

Maddog said...

I was sent over from Kelly's site. Yeah, gay men are shallow. At least some of them. The catch is that you have to keep looking. For every 10 shallow ones there is one really great guy out there waiting for you. The phrase you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince didn't make itself up for no reason. Just keep at it. You'll find the one.

Sh@ney said...

I could say welcome to the life of a gay man, but seeing as our journey in life is one to which we have choices, I am just going to shake my head & feel for you. Yet on the other hand, being exposed to the creeps that are out there in the gay kingdom is a good lesson learned early. I too was subjected to the illicit drug use, most common amongst gay men and I had only been out for 2 weeks. But it sure gave me an insight on who, what & where to avoid. I dont want to go on about drug use because it pisses me off that people feel they have to take them to enjoy a night out. It's moronic! But rest assured, there are good men amongst the crowd, too few perhaps, but they do exist. Follow your instincts & be careful. I have watched my housemate get 'date ditched' so many times now, I wonder why he even bothers. But like us he is just hoping someday soon the right guy will come along who has respect for himslef & for others & is genuinely good natured. Nothing stopping you from having a good time in the meantime. Sorry this happened to you my friend! xoxo

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